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The University of Adelaide Library
University of Adelaide
South Australia 5005
Christopher Sly, a tinker.
Players, Huntsmen, and Servants.
Baptista, a rich gentleman of Padua, father of Bianca and Katherina.
Vincentio, an old gentleman of Pisa.
Lucentio, son to Vincentio, in love with Bianca.
Petruchio, a gentleman of Verona, a suitor to Katharina.
Gremio and Hortensio, suitors to Bianca.
Tranio and Biondello, servants to Lucentio.
Grumio, Curtis, Nathaniel, Nicholas, Joseph, Philip and Peter, servants to Petruchio.
Katharina the shrew,
Tailor, Haberdasher, and Servants attending on Baptista and Petruchio.
Scene: Padua, and Petruchio's country house.
Enter Hostess and Sly
Sly I’ll pheeze you, in faith.
Hostess A pair of stocks, you rogue!
Sly Ye are a baggage: the Slys are no rogues; look in the chronicles; we came in with Richard Conqueror. Therefore paucas pallabris; let the world slide: sessa!
Hostess You will not pay for the glasses you have burst?
Sly No, not a denier. Go by, Jeronimy: go to thy cold bed, and warm thee.
Hostess I know my remedy; I must go fetch the third — borough.
Sly Third, or fourth, or fifth borough, I’ll answer him by law: I’ll not budge an inch, boy: let him come, and kindly.
Horns winded. Enter a Lord from hunting, with his train
Lord Huntsman, I charge thee, tender well my hounds:
Brach Merriman, the poor cur is emboss’d;
And couple Clowder with the deep — mouth’d brach.
Saw’st thou not, boy, how Silver made it good
At the hedge-corner, in the coldest fault?
I would not lose the dog for twenty pound.
First Huntsman Why, Belman is as good as he, my lord;
He cried upon it at the merest loss
And twice to-day pick’d out the dullest scent:
Trust me, I take him for the better dog.
Lord Thou art a fool: if Echo were as fleet,
I would esteem him worth a dozen such.
But sup them well and look unto them all:
To-morrow I intend to hunt again.
First Huntsman I will, my lord.
Lord What’s here? one dead, or drunk? See, doth he breathe?
Second Huntsman He breathes, my lord. Were he not warm’d with ale,
This were a bed but cold to sleep so soundly.
Lord O monstrous beast! how like a swine he lies!
Grim death, how foul and loathsome is thine image!
Sirs, I will practise on this drunken man.
What think you, if he were convey’d to bed,
Wrapp’d in sweet clothes, rings put upon his fingers,
A most delicious banquet by his bed,
And brave attendants near him when he wakes,
Would not the beggar then forget himself?
First Huntsman Believe me, lord, I think he cannot choose.
Second Huntsman It would seem strange unto him when he waked.
Lord Even as a flattering dream or worthless fancy.
Then take him up and manage well the jest:
Carry him gently to my fairest chamber
And hang it round with all my wanton pictures:
Balm his foul head in warm distilled waters
And burn sweet wood to make the lodging sweet:
Procure me music ready when he wakes,
To make a dulcet and a heavenly sound;
And if he chance to speak, be ready straight
And with a low submissive reverence
Say ‘What is it your honour will command?’
Let one attend him with a silver basin
Full of rose-water and bestrew’d with flowers,
Another bear the ewer, the third a diaper,
And say ‘Will’t please your lordship cool your hands?’
Some one be ready with a costly suit
And ask him what apparel he will wear;
Another tell him of his hounds and horse,
And that his lady mourns at his disease:
Persuade him that he hath been lunatic;
And when he says he is, say that he dreams,
For he is nothing but a mighty lord.
This do and do it kindly, gentle sirs:
It will be pastime passing excellent,
If it be husbanded with modesty.
First Huntsman My lord, I warrant you we will play our part,
As he shall think by our true diligence
He is no less than what we say he is.
Lord Take him up gently and to bed with him;
And each one to his office when he wakes.
Some bear out Sly. A trumpet sounds
Sirrah, go see what trumpet ’tis that sounds:
Belike, some noble gentleman that means,
Travelling some journey, to repose him here.
How now! who is it?
Servant An’t please your honour, players
That offer service to your lordship.
Lord Bid them come near.
Now, fellows, you are welcome.
Players We thank your honour.
Lord Do you intend to stay with me tonight?
A Player So please your lordship to accept our duty.
Lord With all my heart. This fellow I remember,
Since once he play’d a farmer’s eldest son:
’Twas where you woo’d the gentlewoman so well:
I have forgot your name; but, sure, that part
Was aptly fitted and naturally perform’d.
A Player I think ’twas Soto that your honour means.
Lord ’Tis very true: thou didst it excellent.
Well, you are come to me in a happy time;
The rather for I have some sport in hand
Wherein your cunning can assist me much.
There is a lord will hear you play to-night:
But I am doubtful of your modesties;
Lest over-eyeing of his odd behavior —
For yet his honour never heard a play —
You break into some merry passion
And so offend him; for I tell you, sirs,
If you should smile he grows impatient.
A Player Fear not, my lord: we can contain ourselves,
Were he the veriest antic in the world.
Lord Go, sirrah, take them to the buttery,
And give them friendly welcome every one:
Let them want nothing that my house affords.
Exit one with the Players
Sirrah, go you to Barthol’mew my page,
And see him dress’d in all suits like a lady:
That done, conduct him to the drunkard’s chamber;
And call him ‘madam,’ do him obeisance.
Tell him from me, as he will win my love,
He bear himself with honourable action,
Such as he hath observed in noble ladies
Unto their lords, by them accomplished:
Such duty to the drunkard let him do
With soft low tongue and lowly courtesy,
And say ‘What is’t your honour will command,
Wherein your lady and your humble wife
May show her duty and make known her love?’
And then with kind embracements, tempting kisses,
And with declining head into his bosom,
Bid him shed tears, as being overjoy’d
To see her noble lord restored to health,
Who for this seven years hath esteem’d him
No better than a poor and loathsome beggar:
And if the boy have not a woman’s gift
To rain a shower of commanded tears,
An onion will do well for such a shift,
Which in a napkin being close convey’d
Shall in despite enforce a watery eye.
See this dispatch’d with all the haste thou canst:
Anon I’ll give thee more instructions.
Exit a Servingman
I know the boy will well usurp the grace,
Voice, gait and action of a gentlewoman:
I long to hear him call the drunkard husband,
And how my men will stay themselves from laughter
When they do homage to this simple peasant.
I’ll in to counsel them; haply my presence
May well abate the over-merry spleen
Which otherwise would grow into extremes.
Enter aloft Sly, with Attendants; some with apparel, others with basin and ewer and appurtenances; and Lord
Sly For God’s sake, a pot of small ale.
First Servant Will’t please your lordship drink a cup of sack?
Second Servant Will’t please your honour taste of these conserves?
Third Servant What raiment will your honour wear to-day?
Sly I am Christophero Sly; call not me ‘honour’ nor ‘lordship:’ I ne’er drank sack in my life; and if you give me any conserves, give me conserves of beef: ne’er ask me what raiment I’ll wear; for I have no more doublets than backs, no more stockings than legs, nor no more shoes than feet; nay, sometimes more feet than shoes, or such shoes as my toes look through the over-leather.
Lord Heaven cease this idle humour in your honour!
O, that a mighty man of such descent,
Of such possessions and so high esteem,
Should be infused with so foul a spirit!
Sly What, would you make me mad? Am not I Christopher Sly, old Sly’s son of Burtonheath, by birth a pedlar, by education a cardmaker, by transmutation a bear-herd, and now by present profession a tinker? Ask Marian Hacket, the fat ale-wife of Wincot, if she know me not: if she say I am not fourteen pence on the score for sheer ale, score me up for the lyingest knave in Christendom. What! I am not bestraught: here’s —
Third Servant O, this it is that makes your lady mourn!
Second Servant O, this is it that makes your servants droop!
Lord Hence comes it that your kindred shuns your house,
As beaten hence by your strange lunacy.
O noble lord, bethink thee of thy birth,
Call home thy ancient thoughts from banishment
And banish hence these abject lowly dreams.
Look how thy servants do attend on thee,
Each in his office ready at thy beck.
Wilt thou have music? hark! Apollo plays,
And twenty caged nightingales do sing:
Or wilt thou sleep? we’ll have thee to a couch
Softer and sweeter than the lustful bed
On purpose trimm’d up for Semiramis.
Say thou wilt walk; we will bestrew the ground:
Or wilt thou ride? thy horses shall be trapp’d,
Their harness studded all with gold and pearl.
Dost thou love hawking? thou hast hawks will soar
Above the morning lark or wilt thou hunt?
Thy hounds shall make the welkin answer them
And fetch shrill echoes from the hollow earth.
First Servant Say thou wilt course; thy greyhounds are as swift
As breathed stags, ay, fleeter than the roe.
Second Servant Dost thou love pictures? we will fetch thee straight
Adonis painted by a running brook,
And Cytherea all in sedges hid,
Which seem to move and wanton with her breath,
Even as the waving sedges play with wind.
Lord We’ll show thee Io as she was a maid,
And how she was beguiled and surprised,
As lively painted as the deed was done.
Third Servant Or Daphne roaming through a thorny wood,
Scratching her legs that one shall swear she bleeds,
And at that sight shall sad Apollo weep,
So workmanly the blood and tears are drawn.
Lord Thou art a lord, and nothing but a lord:
Thou hast a lady far more beautiful
Than any woman in this waning age.
First Servant And till the tears that she hath shed for thee
Like envious floods o’er-run her lovely face,
She was the fairest creature in the world;
And yet she is inferior to none.
Sly Am I a lord? and have I such a lady?
Or do I dream? or have I dream’d till now?
I do not sleep: I see, I hear, I speak;
I smell sweet savours and I feel soft things:
Upon my life, I am a lord indeed
And not a tinker nor Christophero Sly.
Well, bring our lady hither to our sight;
And once again, a pot o’ the smallest ale.
Second Servant Will’t please your mightiness to wash your hands?
O, how we joy to see your wit restored!
O, that once more you knew but what you are!
These fifteen years you have been in a dream;
Or when you waked, so waked as if you slept.
Sly These fifteen years! by my fay, a goodly nap.
But did I never speak of all that time?
First Servant O, yes, my lord, but very idle words:
For though you lay here in this goodly chamber,
Yet would you say ye were beaten out of door;
And rail upon the hostess of the house;
And say you would present her at the leet,
Because she brought stone jugs and no seal’d quarts:
Sometimes you would call out for Cicely Hacket.
Sly Ay, the woman’s maid of the house.
Third Servant Why, sir, you know no house nor no such maid,
Nor no such men as you have reckon’d up,
As Stephen Sly and did John Naps of Greece
And Peter Turph and Henry Pimpernell
And twenty more such names and men as these
Which never were nor no man ever saw.
Sly Now Lord be thanked for my good amends!
Sly I thank thee: thou shalt not lose by it.
Enter the Page as a lady, with attendants
Page How fares my noble lord?
Sly Marry, I fare well for here is cheer enough.
Where is my wife?
Page Here, noble lord: what is thy will with her?
Sly Are you my wife and will not call me husband?
My men should call me ‘lord:’ I am your goodman.
Page My husband and my lord, my lord and husband;
I am your wife in all obedience.
Sly I know it well. What must I call her?
Sly Al’ce madam, or Joan madam?
Lord ‘Madam,’ and nothing else: so lords call ladies.
Sly Madam wife, they say that I have dream’d
And slept above some fifteen year or more.
Page Ay, and the time seems thirty unto me,
Being all this time abandon’d from your bed.
Sly ’Tis much. Servants, leave me and her alone.
Madam, undress you and come now to bed.
Page Thrice noble lord, let me entreat of you
To pardon me yet for a night or two,
Or, if not so, until the sun be set:
For your physicians have expressly charged,
In peril to incur your former malady,
That I should yet absent me from your bed:
I hope this reason stands for my excuse.
Sly Ay, it stands so that I may hardly tarry so long. But I would be loath to fall into my dreams again: I will therefore tarry in despite of the flesh and the blood.
Enter a Messenger
Messenger Your honour’s players, heating your amendment,
Are come to play a pleasant comedy;
For so your doctors hold it very meet,
Seeing too much sadness hath congeal’d your blood,
And melancholy is the nurse of frenzy:
Therefore they thought it good you hear a play
And frame your mind to mirth and merriment,
Which bars a thousand harms and lengthens life.
Sly Marry, I will, let them play it. Is not a comondy a Christmas gambold or a tumbling-trick?
Page No, my good lord; it is more pleasing stuff.
Sly What, household stuff?
Page It is a kind of history.
Sly Well, well see’t. Come, madam wife, sit by my side and let the world slip: we shall ne’er be younger.
Enter Lucentio and his man Tranio
Lucentio Tranio, since for the great desire I had
To see fair Padua, nursery of arts,
I am arrived for fruitful Lombardy,
The pleasant garden of great Italy;
And by my father’s love and leave am arm’d
With his good will and thy good company,
My trusty servant, well approved in all,
Here let us breathe and haply institute
A course of learning and ingenious studies.
Pisa renown’d for grave citizens
Gave me my being and my father first,
A merchant of great traffic through the world,
Vincetino come of Bentivolii.
Vincetino’s son brought up in Florence
It shall become to serve all hopes conceived,
To deck his fortune with his virtuous deeds:
And therefore, Tranio, for the time I study,
Virtue and that part of philosophy
Will I apply that treats of happiness
By virtue specially to be achieved.
Tell me thy mind; for I have Pisa left
And am to Padua come, as he that leaves
A shallow plash to plunge him in the deep
And with satiety seeks to quench his thirst.
Tranio Mi perdonato, gentle master mine,
I am in all affected as yourself;
Glad that you thus continue your resolve
To suck the sweets of sweet philosophy.
Only, good master, while we do admire
This virtue and this moral discipline,
Let’s be no stoics nor no stocks, I pray;
Or so devote to Aristotle’s cheques
As Ovid be an outcast quite abjured:
Balk logic with acquaintance that you have
And practise rhetoric in your common talk;
Music and poesy use to quicken you;
The mathematics and the metaphysics,
Fall to them as you find your stomach serves you;
No profit grows where is no pleasure ta’en:
In brief, sir, study what you most affect.
Lucentio Gramercies, Tranio, well dost thou advise.
If, Biondello, thou wert come ashore,
We could at once put us in readiness,
And take a lodging fit to entertain
Such friends as time in Padua shall beget.
But stay a while: what company is this?
Tranio Master, some show to welcome us to town.
Enter Baptista, Katharina, Bianca, Gremio, and Hortensio. Lucentio and Tranio stand by
Baptista Gentlemen, importune me no farther,
For how I firmly am resolved you know;
That is, not bestow my youngest daughter
Before I have a husband for the elder:
If either of you both love Katharina,
Because I know you well and love you well,
Leave shall you have to court her at your pleasure.
Gremio [Aside] To cart her rather: she’s too rough for
There, There, Hortensio, will you any wife?
Katharina I pray you, sir, is it your will
To make a stale of me amongst these mates?
Hortensio Mates, maid! how mean you that? no mates for you,
Unless you were of gentler, milder mould.
Katharina I’faith, sir, you shall never need to fear:
I wis it is not half way to her heart;
But if it were, doubt not her care should be
To comb your noddle with a three-legg’d stool
And paint your face and use you like a fool.
Hortensio From all such devils, good Lord deliver us!
Gremio And me too, good Lord!
Tranio Hush, master! here’s some good pastime toward:
That wench is stark mad or wonderful froward.
Lucentio But in the other’s silence do I see
Maid’s mild behavior and sobriety.
Tranio Well said, master; mum! and gaze your fill.
Baptista Gentlemen, that I may soon make good
What I have said, Bianca, get you in:
And let it not displease thee, good Bianca,
For I will love thee ne’er the less, my girl.
Katharina A pretty peat! it is best
Put finger in the eye, an she knew why.
Bianca Sister, content you in my discontent.
Sir, to your pleasure humbly I subscribe:
My books and instruments shall be my company,
On them to took and practise by myself.
Lucentio Hark, Tranio! thou may’st hear Minerva speak.
Hortensio Signior Baptista, will you be so strange?
Sorry am I that our good will effects
Gremio Why will you mew her up,
Signior Baptista, for this fiend of hell,
And make her bear the penance of her tongue?
Baptista Gentlemen, content ye; I am resolved:
Go in, Bianca:
And for I know she taketh most delight
In music, instruments and poetry,
Schoolmasters will I keep within my house,
Fit to instruct her youth. If you, Hortensio,
Or Signior Gremio, you, know any such,
Prefer them hither; for to cunning men
I will be very kind, and liberal
To mine own children in good bringing up:
And so farewell. Katharina, you may stay;
For I have more to commune with Bianca.
Katharina Why, and I trust I may go too, may I not? What, shall I be appointed hours; as though, belike, I knew not what to take and what to leave, ha?
Gremio You may go to the devil’s dam: your gifts are so good, here’s none will hold you. Their love is not so great, Hortensio, but we may blow our nails together, and fast it fairly out: our cakes dough on both sides. Farewell: yet for the love I bear my sweet Bianca, if I can by any means light on a fit man to teach her that wherein she delights, I will wish him to her father.
Hortensio So will I, Signior Gremio: but a word, I pray. Though the nature of our quarrel yet never brooked parle, know now, upon advice, it toucheth us both, that we may yet again have access to our fair mistress and be happy rivals in Bianco’s love, to labour and effect one thing specially.
Gremio What’s that, I pray?
Hortensio Marry, sir, to get a husband for her sister.
Gremio A husband! a devil.
Hortensio I say, a husband.
Gremio I say, a devil. Thinkest thou, Hortensio, though her father be very rich, any man is so very a fool to be married to hell?
Hortensio Tush, Gremio, though it pass your patience and mine to endure her loud alarums, why, man, there be good fellows in the world, an a man could light on them, would take her with all faults, and money enough.
Gremio I cannot tell; but I had as lief take her dowry with this condition, to be whipped at the high cross every morning.
Hortensio Faith, as you say, there’s small choice in rotten apples. But come; since this bar in law makes us friends, it shall be so far forth friendly maintained all by helping Baptista’s eldest daughter to a husband we set his youngest free for a husband, and then have to’t a fresh. Sweet Bianca! Happy man be his dole! He that runs fastest gets the ring. How say you, Signior Gremio?
Gremio I am agreed; and would I had given him the best horse in Padua to begin his wooing that would thoroughly woo her, wed her and bed her and rid the house of her! Come on.
Exeunt Gremio and Hortensio
Tranio I pray, sir, tell me, is it possible
That love should of a sudden take such hold?
Lucentio O Tranio, till I found it to be true,
I never thought it possible or likely;
But see, while idly I stood looking on,
I found the effect of love in idleness:
And now in plainness do confess to thee,
That art to me as secret and as dear
As Anna to the queen of Carthage was,
Tranio, I burn, I pine, I perish, Tranio,
If I achieve not this young modest girl.
Counsel me, Tranio, for I know thou canst;
Assist me, Tranio, for I know thou wilt.
Tranio Master, it is no time to chide you now;
Affection is not rated from the heart:
If love have touch’d you, nought remains but so,
‘Redime te captum quam queas minimo.’
Lucentio Gramercies, lad, go forward; this contents:
The rest will comfort, for thy counsel’s sound.
Tranio Master, you look’d so longly on the maid,
Perhaps you mark’d not what’s the pith of all.
Lucentio O yes, I saw sweet beauty in her face,
Such as the daughter of Agenor had,
That made great Jove to humble him to her hand.
When with his knees he kiss’d the Cretan strand.
Tranio Saw you no more? mark’d you not how her sister
Began to scold and raise up such a storm
That mortal ears might hardly endure the din?
Lucentio Tranio, I saw her coral lips to move
And with her breath she did perfume the air:
Sacred and sweet was all I saw in her.
Tranio Nay, then, ’tis time to stir him from his trance.
I pray, awake, sir: if you love the maid,
Bend thoughts and wits to achieve her. Thus it stands:
Her eldest sister is so curst and shrewd
That till the father rid his hands of her,
Master, your love must live a maid at home;
And therefore has he closely mew’d her up,
Because she will not be annoy’d with suitors.
Lucentio Ah, Tranio, what a cruel father’s he!
But art thou not advised, he took some care
To get her cunning schoolmasters to instruct her?
Tranio Ay, marry, am I, sir; and now ’tis plotted.
Lucentio I have it, Tranio.
Tranio Master, for my hand,
Both our inventions meet and jump in one.
Lucentio Tell me thine first.
Tranio You will be schoolmaster
And undertake the teaching of the maid:
That’s your device.
Lucentio It is: may it be done?
Tranio Not possible; for who shall bear your part,
And be in Padua here Vincentio’s son,
Keep house and ply his book, welcome his friends,
Visit his countrymen and banquet them?
Lucentio Basta; content thee, for I have it full.
We have not yet been seen in any house,
Nor can we lie distinguish’d by our faces
For man or master; then it follows thus;
Thou shalt be master, Tranio, in my stead,
Keep house and port and servants as I should:
I will some other be, some Florentine,
Some Neapolitan, or meaner man of Pisa.
’Tis hatch’d and shall be so: Tranio, at once
Uncase thee; take my colour’d hat and cloak:
When Biondello comes, he waits on thee;
But I will charm him first to keep his tongue.
Tranio So had you need.
In brief, sir, sith it your pleasure is,
And I am tied to be obedient;
For so your father charged me at our parting,
‘Be serviceable to my son,’ quoth he,
Although I think ’twas in another sense;
I am content to be Lucentio,
Because so well I love Lucentio.
Lucentio Tranio, be so, because Lucentio loves:
And let me be a slave, to achieve that maid
Whose sudden sight hath thrall’d my wounded eye.
Here comes the rogue.
Sirrah, where have you been?
Biondello Where have I been! Nay, how now! where are you? Master, has my fellow Tranio stolen your clothes? Or you stolen his? or both? pray, what’s the news?
Lucentio Sirrah, come hither: ’tis no time to jest,
And therefore frame your manners to the time.
Your fellow Tranio here, to save my life,
Puts my apparel and my countenance on,
And I for my escape have put on his;
For in a quarrel since I came ashore
I kill’d a man and fear I was descried:
Wait you on him, I charge you, as becomes,
While I make way from hence to save my life:
You understand me?
Biondello I, sir! ne’er a whit.
Lucentio And not a jot of Tranio in your mouth:
Tranio is changed into Lucentio.
Biondello The better for him: would I were so too!
Tranio So could I, faith, boy, to have the next wish after,
That Lucentio indeed had Baptista’s youngest daughter.
But, sirrah, not for my sake, but your master’s, I advise
You use your manners discreetly in all kind of companies:
When I am alone, why, then I am Tranio;
But in all places else your master Lucentio.
Lucentio Tranio, let’s go: one thing more rests, that thyself execute, to make one among these wooers: if thou ask me why, sufficeth, my reasons are both good and weighty.
The presenters above speak
First Servant My lord, you nod; you do not mind the play.
Sly Yes, by Saint Anne, do I. A good matter, surely: comes there any more of it?
Page My lord, ’tis but begun.
Sly ’Tis a very excellent piece of work, madam lady: would ’twere done!
They sit and mark
Enter Petruchio and his man Grumio
Petruchio Verona, for a while I take my leave,
To see my friends in Padua, but of all
My best beloved and approved friend,
Hortensio; and I trow this is his house.
Here, sirrah Grumio; knock, I say.
Grumio Knock, sir! whom should I knock? is there man has rebused your worship?
Petruchio Villain, I say, knock me here soundly.
Grumio Knock you here, sir! why, sir, what am I, sir, that
I should knock you here, sir?
Petruchio Villain, I say, knock me at this gate
And rap me well, or I’ll knock your knave’s pate.
Grumio My master is grown quarrelsome. I should knock you first, And then I know after who comes by the worst.
Petruchio Will it not be?
Faith, sirrah, an you’ll not knock, I’ll ring it;
I’ll try how you can sol, fa, and sing it.
He wrings him by the ears
Grumio Help, masters, help! my master is mad.
Petruchio Now, knock when I bid you, sirrah villain!
Hortensio How now! what’s the matter? My old friend Grumio! and my good friend Petruchio! How do you all at Verona?
Petruchio Signior Hortensio, come you to part the fray?
‘Con tutto il cuore, ben trovato,’ may I say.
Hortensio ‘Alla nostra casa ben venuto, molto honorato signor mio Petruchio.’ Rise, Grumio, rise: we will compound this quarrel.
Grumio Nay, ’tis no matter, sir, what he ’leges in Latin. if this be not a lawful case for me to leave his service, look you, sir, he bid me knock him and rap him soundly, sir: well, was it fit for a servant to use his master so, being perhaps, for aught I see, two and thirty, a pip out? Whom would to God I had well knock’d at first, Then had not Grumio come by the worst.
Petruchio A senseless villain! Good Hortensio,
I bade the rascal knock upon your gate
And could not get him for my heart to do it.
Grumio Knock at the gate! O heavens! Spake you not these words plain, ‘sirrah, knock me here, rap me here, knock me well, and knock me soundly’? And come you now with, ‘knocking at the gate’?
Petruchio Sirrah, be gone, or talk not, I advise you.
Hortensio Petruchio, patience; I am Grumio’s pledge:
Why, this’s a heavy chance ’twixt him and you,
Your ancient, trusty, pleasant servant Grumio.
And tell me now, sweet friend, what happy gale
Blows you to Padua here from old Verona?
Petruchio Such wind as scatters young men through the world,
To seek their fortunes farther than at home
Where small experience grows. But in a few,
Signior Hortensio, thus it stands with me:
Antonio, my father, is deceased;
And I have thrust myself into this maze,
Haply to wive and thrive as best I may:
Crowns in my purse I have and goods at home,
And so am come abroad to see the world.
Hortensio Petruchio, shall I then come roundly to thee
And wish thee to a shrewd ill-favour’d wife?
Thou’ldst thank me but a little for my counsel:
And yet I’ll promise thee she shall be rich
And very rich: but thou’rt too much my friend,
And I’ll not wish thee to her.
Petruchio Signior Hortensio, ’twixt such friends as we
Few words suffice; and therefore, if thou know
One rich enough to be Petruchio’s wife,
As wealth is burden of my wooing dance,
Be she as foul as was Florentius’ love,
As old as Sibyl and as curst and shrewd
As Socrates’ Xanthippe, or a worse,
She moves me not, or not removes, at least,
Affection’s edge in me, were she as rough
As are the swelling Adriatic seas:
I come to wive it wealthily in Padua;
If wealthily, then happily in Padua.
Grumio Nay, look you, sir, he tells you flatly what his mind is: Why give him gold enough and marry him to a puppet or an aglet-baby; or an old trot with ne’er a tooth in her head, though she have as many diseases as two and fifty horses: why, nothing comes amiss, so money comes withal.
Hortensio Petruchio, since we are stepp’d thus far in,
I will continue that I broach’d in jest.
I can, Petruchio, help thee to a wife
With wealth enough and young and beauteous,
Brought up as best becomes a gentlewoman:
Her only fault, and that is faults enough,
Is that she is intolerable curst
And shrewd and froward, so beyond all measure
That, were my state far worser than it is,
I would not wed her for a mine of gold.
Petruchio Hortensio, peace! thou know’st not gold’s effect:
Tell me her father’s name and ’tis enough;
For I will board her, though she chide as loud
As thunder when the clouds in autumn crack.
Hortensio Her father is Baptista Minola,
An affable and courteous gentleman:
Her name is Katharina Minola,
Renown’d in Padua for her scolding tongue.
Petruchio I know her father, though I know not her;
And he knew my deceased father well.
I will not sleep, Hortensio, till I see her;
And therefore let me be thus bold with you
To give you over at this first encounter,
Unless you will accompany me thither.
Grumio I pray you, sir, let him go while the humour lasts. O’ my word, an she knew him as well as I do, she would think scolding would do little good upon him: she may perhaps call him half a score knaves or so: why, that’s nothing; an he begin once, he’ll rail in his rope-tricks. I’ll tell you what sir, an she stand him but a little, he will throw a figure in her face and so disfigure her with it that she shall have no more eyes to see withal than a cat. You know him not, sir.
Hortensio Tarry, Petruchio, I must go with thee,
For in Baptista’s keep my treasure is:
He hath the jewel of my life in hold,
His youngest daughter, beautiful Binaca,
And her withholds from me and other more,
Suitors to her and rivals in my love,
Supposing it a thing impossible,
For those defects I have before rehearsed,
That ever Katharina will be woo’d;
Therefore this order hath Baptista ta’en,
That none shall have access unto Bianca
Till Katharina the curst have got a husband.
Grumio Katharina the curst!
A title for a maid of all titles the worst.
Hortensio Now shall my friend Petruchio do me grace,
And offer me disguised in sober robes
To old Baptista as a schoolmaster
Well seen in music, to instruct Bianca;
That so I may, by this device, at least
Have leave and leisure to make love to her
And unsuspected court her by herself.
Grumio Here’s no knavery! See, to beguile the old folks, how the young folks lay their heads together!
Enter Gremio, and Lucentio disguised
Master, master, look about you: who goes there, ha?
Hortensio Peace, Grumio! it is the rival of my love.
Petruchio, stand by a while.
Grumio A proper stripling and an amorous!
Gremio O, very well; I have perused the note.
Hark you, sir: I’ll have them very fairly bound:
All books of love, see that at any hand;
And see you read no other lectures to her:
You understand me: over and beside
Signior Baptista’s liberality,
I’ll mend it with a largess. Take your paper too,
And let me have them very well perfumed
For she is sweeter than perfume itself
To whom they go to. What will you read to her?
Lucentio Whate’er I read to her, I’ll plead for you
As for my patron, stand you so assured,
As firmly as yourself were still in place:
Yea, and perhaps with more successful words
Than you, unless you were a scholar, sir.
Gremio O this learning, what a thing it is!
Grumio O this woodcock, what an ass it is!
Petruchio Peace, sirrah!
Hortensio Grumio, mum! God save you, Signior Gremio.
Gremio And you are well met, Signior Hortensio.
Trow you whither I am going? To Baptista Minola.
I promised to inquire carefully
About a schoolmaster for the fair Bianca:
And by good fortune I have lighted well
On this young man, for learning and behavior
Fit for her turn, well read in poetry
And other books, good ones, I warrant ye.
Hortensio ’Tis well; and I have met a gentleman
Hath promised me to help me to another,
A fine musician to instruct our mistress;
So shall I no whit be behind in duty
To fair Bianca, so beloved of me.
Gremio Beloved of me; and that my deeds shall prove.
Grumio And that his bags shall prove.
Hortensio Gremio, ’tis now no time to vent our love:
Listen to me, and if you speak me fair,
I’ll tell you news indifferent good for either.
Here is a gentleman whom by chance I met,
Upon agreement from us to his liking,
Will undertake to woo curst Katharina,
Yea, and to marry her, if her dowry please.
Gremio So said, so done, is well.
Hortensio, have you told him all her faults?
Petruchio I know she is an irksome brawling scold:
If that be all, masters, I hear no harm.
Gremio No, say’st me so, friend? What countryman?
Petruchio Born in Verona, old Antonio’s son:
My father dead, my fortune lives for me;
And I do hope good days and long to see.
Gremio O sir, such a life, with such a wife, were strange!
But if you have a stomach, to’t i’ God’s name:
You shall have me assisting you in all.
But will you woo this wild-cat?
Petruchio Will I live?
Grumio Will he woo her? ay, or I’ll hang her.
Petruchio Why came I hither but to that intent?
Think you a little din can daunt mine ears?
Have I not in my time heard lions roar?
Have I not heard the sea puff’d up with winds
Rage like an angry boar chafed with sweat?
Have I not heard great ordnance in the field,
And heaven’s artillery thunder in the skies?
Have I not in a pitched battle heard
Loud ’larums, neighing steeds, and trumpets’ clang?
And do you tell me of a woman’s tongue,
That gives not half so great a blow to hear
As will a chestnut in a farmer’s fire?
Tush, tush! fear boys with bugs.
Grumio For he fears none.
Gremio Hortensio, hark:
This gentleman is happily arrived,
My mind presumes, for his own good and ours.
Hortensio I promised we would be contributors
And bear his charging of wooing, whatsoe’er.
Gremio And so we will, provided that he win her.
Grumio I would I were as sure of a good dinner.
Enter Tranio brave, and Biondello
Tranio Gentlemen, God save you. If I may be bold,
Tell me, I beseech you, which is the readiest way
To the house of Signior Baptista Minola?
Biondello He that has the two fair daughters: is’t he you mean?
Tranio Even he, Biondello.
Gremio Hark you, sir; you mean not her to —
Tranio Perhaps, him and her, sir: what have you to do?
Petruchio Not her that chides, sir, at any hand, I pray.
Tranio I love no chiders, sir. Biondello, let’s away.
Lucentio Well begun, Tranio.
Hortensio Sir, a word ere you go;
Are you a suitor to the maid you talk of, yea or no?
Tranio And if I be, sir, is it any offence?
Gremio No; if without more words you will get you hence.
Tranio Why, sir, I pray, are not the streets as free
For me as for you?
Gremio But so is not she.
Tranio For what reason, I beseech you?
Gremio For this reason, if you’ll know,
That she’s the choice love of Signior Gremio.
Hortensio That she’s the chosen of Signior Hortensio.
Tranio Softly, my masters! if you be gentlemen,
Do me this right; hear me with patience.
Baptista is a noble gentleman,
To whom my father is not all unknown;
And were his daughter fairer than she is,
She may more suitors have and me for one.
Fair Leda’s daughter had a thousand wooers;
Then well one more may fair Bianca have:
And so she shall; Lucentio shall make one,
Though Paris came in hope to speed alone.
Gremio What! this gentleman will out-talk us all.
Lucentio Sir, give him head: I know he’ll prove a jade.
Petruchio Hortensio, to what end are all these words?
Hortensio Sir, let me be so bold as ask you,
Did you yet ever see Baptista’s daughter?
Tranio No, sir; but hear I do that he hath two,
The one as famous for a scolding tongue
As is the other for beauteous modesty.
Petruchio Sir, sir, the first’s for me; let her go by.
Gremio Yea, leave that labour to great Hercules;
And let it be more than Alcides’ twelve.
Petruchio Sir, understand you this of me in sooth:
The younges t daughter whom you hearken for
Her father keeps from all access of suitors,
And will not promise her to any man
Until the elder sister first be wed:
The younger then is free and not before.
Tranio If it be so, sir, that you are the man
Must stead us all and me amongst the rest,
And if you break the ice and do this feat,
Achieve the elder, set the younger free
For our access, whose hap shall be to have her
Will not so graceless be to be ingrate.
Hortensio Sir, you say well and well you do conceive;
And since you do profess to be a suitor,
You must, as we do, gratify this gentleman,
To whom we all rest generally beholding.
Tranio Sir, I shall not be slack: in sign whereof,
Please ye we may contrive this afternoon,
And quaff carouses to our mistress’ health,
And do as adversaries do in law,
Strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends.
Grumio, Biondello O excellent motion! Fellows, let’s be gone.
Hortensio The motion’s good indeed and be it so,
Petruchio, I shall be your ben venuto.
Enter Katharina and Bianca
Bianca Good sister, wrong me not, nor wrong yourself,
To make a bondmaid and a slave of me;
That I disdain: but for these other gawds,
Unbind my hands, I’ll pull them off myself,
Yea, all my raiment, to my petticoat;
Or what you will command me will I do,
So well I know my duty to my elders.
Katharina Of all thy suitors, here I charge thee, tell
Whom thou lovest best: see thou dissemble not.
Bianca Believe me, sister, of all the men alive
I never yet beheld that special face
Which I could fancy more than any other.
Katharina Minion, thou liest. Is’t not Hortensio?
Bianca If you affect him, sister, here I swear I’ll plead for you myself, but you shall have him.
Katharina O then, belike, you fancy riches more:
You will have Gremio to keep you fair.
Bianca Is it for him you do envy me so?
Nay then you jest, and now I well perceive
You have but jested with me all this while:
I prithee, sister Kate, untie my hands.
Katharina If that be jest, then all the rest was so.
Baptista Why, how now, dame! whence grows this insolence?
Bianca, stand aside. Poor girl! she weeps.
Go ply thy needle; meddle not with her.
For shame, thou helding of a devilish spirit,
Why dost thou wrong her that did ne’er wrong thee?
When did she cross thee with a bitter word?
Katharina Her silence flouts me, and I’ll be revenged.
Flies after Bianca
Baptista What, in my sight? Bianca, get thee in.
Katharina What, will you not suffer me? Nay, now I see
She is your treasure, she must have a husband;
I must dance bare-foot on her wedding day
And for your love to her lead apes in hell.
Talk not to me: I will go sit and weep
Till I can find occasion of revenge.
Baptista Was ever gentleman thus grieved as I?
But who comes here?
Enter Gremio, Lucentio in the habit of a mean man; Petruchio, with Hortensio as a musician; and Tranio, with Biondello bearing a lute and books
Gremio Good morrow, neighbour Baptista.
Baptista Good morrow, neighbour Gremio.
God save you, gentlemen!
Petruchio And you, good sir! Pray, have you not a daughter
Call’d Katharina, fair and virtuous?
Baptista I have a daughter, sir, called Katharina.
Gremio You are too blunt: go to it orderly.
Petruchio You wrong me, Signior Gremio: give me leave.
I am a gentleman of Verona, sir,
That, hearing of her beauty and her wit,
Her affability and bashful modesty,
Her wondrous qualities and mild behavior,
Am bold to show myself a forward guest
Within your house, to make mine eye the witness
Of that report which I so oft have heard.
And, for an entrance to my entertainment,
I do present you with a man of mine,
Cunning in music and the mathematics,
To instruct her fully in those sciences,
Whereof I know she is not ignorant:
Accept of him, or else you do me wrong:
His name is Licio, born in Mantua.
Baptista You’re welcome, sir; and he, for your good sake.
But for my daughter Katharina, this I know,
She is not for your turn, the more my grief.
Petruchio I see you do not mean to part with her,
Or else you like not of my company.
Baptista Mistake me not; I speak but as I find.
Whence are you, sir? what may I call your name?
Petruchio Petruchio is my name; Antonio’s son,
A man well known throughout all Italy.
Baptista I know him well: you are welcome for his sake.
Gremio Saving your tale, Petruchio, I pray,
Let us, that are poor petitioners, speak too:
Baccare! you are marvellous forward.
Petruchio O, pardon me, Signior Gremio; I would fain be doing.
Gremio I doubt it not, sir; but you will curse your wooing. Neighbour, this is a gift very grateful, I am sure of it. To express the like kindness, myself, that have been more kindly beholding to you than any, freely give unto you this young scholar,
that hath been long studying at Rheims; as cunning in Greek, Latin, and other languages, as the other in music and mathematics: his name is Cambio; pray, accept his service.
Baptista A thousand thanks, Signior Gremio.
Welcome, good Cambio.
But, gentle sir, methinks you walk like a stranger: may I be so bold to know the cause of your coming?
Tranio Pardon me, sir, the boldness is mine own,
That, being a stranger in this city here,
Do make myself a suitor to your daughter,
Unto Bianca, fair and virtuous.
Nor is your firm resolve unknown to me,
In the preferment of the eldest sister.
This liberty is all that I request,
That, upon knowledge of my parentage,
I may have welcome ’mongst the rest that woo
And free access and favour as the rest:
And, toward the education of your daughters,
I here bestow a simple instrument,
And this small packet of Greek and Latin books:
If you accept them, then their worth is great.
Baptista Lucentio is your name; of whence, I pray?
Tranio Of Pisa, sir; son to Vincentio.
Baptista A mighty man of Pisa; by report
I know him well: you are very welcome, sir,
Take you the lute, and you the set of books;
You shall go see your pupils presently.
Enter a Servant
Sirrah, lead these gentlemen
To my daughters; and tell them both,
These are their tutors: bid them use them well.
Exit Servant, with Lucentio and Hortensio, Biondello following
We will go walk a little in the orchard,
And then to dinner. You are passing welcome,
And so I pray you all to think yourselves.
Petruchio Signior Baptista, my business asketh haste,
And every day I cannot come to woo.
You knew my father well, and in him me,
Left solely heir to all his lands and goods,
Which I have better’d rather than decreased:
Then tell me, if I get your daughter’s love,
What dowry shall I have with her to wife?
Baptista After my death the one half of my lands,
And in possession twenty thousand crowns.
Petruchio And, for that dowry, I’ll assure her of
Her widowhood, be it that she survive me,
In all my lands and leases whatsoever:
Let specialties be therefore drawn between us,
That covenants may be kept on either hand.
Baptista Ay, when the special thing is well obtain’d,
That is, her love; for that is all in all.
Petruchio Why, that is nothing: for I tell you, father,
I am as peremptory as she proud-minded;
And where two raging fires meet together
They do consume the thing that feeds their fury:
Though little fire grows great with little wind,
Yet extreme gusts will blow out fire and all:
So I to her and so she yields to me;
For I am rough and woo not like a babe.
Baptista Well mayst thou woo, and happy be thy speed!
But be thou arm’d for some unhappy words.
Petruchio Ay, to the proof; as mountains are for winds,
That shake not, though they blow perpetually.
Re-enter Hortensio, with his head broke
Baptista How now, my friend! why dost thou look so pale?
Hortensio For fear, I promise you, if I look pale.
Baptista What, will my daughter prove a good musician?
Hortensio I think she’ll sooner prove a soldier
Iron may hold with her, but never lutes.
Baptista Why, then thou canst not break her to the lute?
Hortensio Why, no; for she hath broke the lute to me.
I did but tell her she mistook her frets,
And bow’d her hand to teach her fingering;
When, with a most impatient devilish spirit,
‘Frets, call you these?’ quoth she; ‘I’ll fume with them:’
And, with that word, she struck me on the head,
And through the instrument my pate made way;
And there I stood amazed for a while,
As on a pillory, looking through the lute;
While she did call me rascal fiddler
And twangling Jack; with twenty such vile terms,
As had she studied to misuse me so.
Petruchio Now, by the world, it is a lusty wench;
I love her ten times more than e’er I did:
O, how I long to have some chat with her!
Baptista Well, go with me and be not so discomfited:
Proceed in practise with my younger daughter;
She’s apt to learn and thankful for good turns.
Signior Petruchio, will you go with us,
Or shall I send my daughter Kate to you?
Petruchio I pray you do.
Exeunt all but Petruchio
I will attend her here,
And woo her with some spirit when she comes.
Say that she rail; why then I’ll tell her plain
She sings as sweetly as a nightingale:
Say that she frown, I’ll say she looks as clear
As morning roses newly wash’d with dew:
Say she be mute and will not speak a word;
Then I’ll commend her volubility,
And say she uttereth piercing eloquence:
If she do bid me pack, I’ll give her thanks,
As though she bid me stay by her a week:
If she deny to wed, I’ll crave the day
When I shall ask the banns and when be married.
But here she comes; and now, Petruchio, speak.
Good morrow, Kate; for that’s your name, I hear.
Katharina Well have you heard, but something hard of hearing:
They call me Katharina that do talk of me.
Petruchio You lie, in faith; for you are call’d plain Kate,
And bonny Kate and sometimes Kate the curst;
But Kate, the prettiest Kate in Christendom
Kate of Kate Hall, my super-dainty Kate,
For dainties are all Kates, and therefore, Kate,
Take this of me, Kate of my consolation;
Hearing thy mildness praised in every town,
Thy virtues spoke of, and thy beauty sounded,
Yet not so deeply as to thee belongs,
Myself am moved to woo thee for my wife.
Katharina Moved! in good time: let him that moved you hither
Remove you hence: I knew you at the first
You were a moveable.
Petruchio Why, what’s a moveable?
Katharina A join’d-stool.
Petruchio Thou hast hit it: come, sit on me.
Katharina Asses are made to bear, and so are you.
Petruchio Women are made to bear, and so are you.
Katharina No such jade as you, if me you mean.
Petruchio Alas! good Kate, I will not burden thee;
For, knowing thee to be but young and light —
Katharina Too light for such a swain as you to catch;
And yet as heavy as my weight should be.
Petruchio Should be! should — buzz!
Katharina Well ta’en, and like a buzzard.
Petruchio O slow-wing’d turtle! shall a buzzard take thee?
Katharina Ay, for a turtle, as he takes a buzzard.
Petruchio Come, come, you wasp; i’ faith, you are too angry.
Katharina If I be waspish, best beware my sting.
Petruchio My remedy is then, to pluck it out.
Katharina Ay, if the fool could find it where it lies,
Petruchio Who knows not where a wasp does wear his sting? In his tail.
Katharina In his tongue.
Petruchio Whose tongue?
Katharina Yours, if you talk of tails: and so farewell.
Petruchio What, with my tongue in your tail? nay, come again,
Good Kate; I am a gentleman.
Katharina That I’ll try.
She strikes him
Petruchio I swear I’ll cuff you, if you strike again.
Katharina So may you lose your arms:
If you strike me, you are no gentleman;
And if no gentleman, why then no arms.
Petruchio A herald, Kate? O, put me in thy books!
Katharina What is your crest? a coxcomb?
Petruchio A combless cock, so Kate will be my hen.
Katharina No cock of mine; you crow too like a craven.
Petruchio Nay, come, Kate, come; you must not look so sour.
Katharina It is my fashion, when I see a crab.
Petruchio Why, here’s no crab; and therefore look not sour.
Katharina There is, there is.
Petruchio Then show it me.
Katharina Had I a glass, I would.
Petruchio What, you mean my face?
Katharina Well aim’d of such a young one.
Petruchio Now, by Saint George, I am too young for you.
Katharina Yet you are wither’d.
Petruchio ’Tis with cares.
Katharina I care not.
Petruchio Nay, hear you, Kate: in sooth you scape not so.
Katharina I chafe you, if I tarry: let me go.
Petruchio No, not a whit: I find you passing gentle.
’Twas told me you were rough and coy and sullen,
And now I find report a very liar;
For thou are pleasant, gamesome, passing courteous,
But slow in speech, yet sweet as spring-time flowers:
Thou canst not frown, thou canst not look askance,
Nor bite the lip, as angry wenches will,
Nor hast thou pleasure to be cross in talk,
But thou with mildness entertain’st thy wooers,
With gentle conference, soft and affable.
Why does the world report that Kate doth limp?
O slanderous world! Kate like the hazel-twig
Is straight and slender and as brown in hue
As hazel nuts and sweeter than the kernels.
O, let me see thee walk: thou dost not halt.
Katharina Go, fool, and whom thou keep’st command.
Petruchio Did ever Dian so become a grove
As Kate this chamber with her princely gait?
O, be thou Dian, and let her be Kate;
And then let Kate be chaste and Dian sportful!
Katharina Where did you study all this goodly speech?
Petruchio It is extempore, from my mother-wit.
Katharina A witty mother! witless else her son.
Petruchio Am I not wise?
Katharina Yes; keep you warm.
Petruchio Marry, so I mean, sweet Katharina, in thy bed:
And therefore, setting all this chat aside,
Thus in plain terms: your father hath consented
That you shall be my wife; your dowry ’greed on;
And, Will you, nill you, I will marry you.
Now, Kate, I am a husband for your turn;
For, by this light, whereby I see thy beauty,
Thy beauty, that doth make me like thee well,
Thou must be married to no man but me;
For I am he am born to tame you Kate,
And bring you from a wild Kate to a Kate
Conformable as other household Kates.
Here comes your father: never make denial;
I must and will have Katharina to my wife.
Re-enter Baptista, Gremio, and Tranio
Baptista Now, Signior Petruchio, how speed you with my daughter?
Petruchio How but well, sir? how but well?
It were impossible I should speed amiss.
Baptista Why, how now, daughter Katharina! in your dumps?
Katharina Call you me daughter? now, I promise you
You have show’d a tender fatherly regard,
To wish me wed to one half lunatic;
A mad-cup ruffian and a swearing Jack,
That thinks with oaths to face the matter out.
Petruchio Father, ’tis thus: yourself and all the world,
That talk’d of her, have talk’d amiss of her:
If she be curst, it is for policy,
For she’s not froward, but modest as the dove;
She is not hot, but temperate as the morn;
For patience she will prove a second Grissel,
And Roman Lucrece for her chastity:
And to conclude, we have ’greed so well together,
That upon Sunday is the wedding-day.
Katharina I’ll see thee hang’d on Sunday first.
Gremio Hark, Petruchio; she says she’ll see thee hang’d first.
Tranio Is this your speeding? nay, then, good night our part!
Petruchio Be patient, gentlemen; I choose her for myself:
If she and I be pleased, what’s that to you?
’Tis bargain’d ’twixt us twain, being alone,
That she shall still be curst in company.
I tell you, ’tis incredible to believe
How much she loves me: O, the kindest Kate!
She hung about my neck; and kiss on kiss
She vied so fast, protesting oath on oath,
That in a twink she won me to her love.
O, you are novices! ’tis a world to see,
How tame, when men and women are alone,
A meacock wretch can make the curstest shrew.
Give me thy hand, Kate: I will unto Venice,
To buy apparel ’gainst the wedding-day.
Provide the feast, father, and bid the guests;
I will be sure my Katharina shall be fine.
Baptista I know not what to say: but give me your hands;
God send you joy, Petruchio! ’tis a match.
Gremio, Tranio Amen, say we: we will be witnesses.
Petruchio Father, and wife, and gentlemen, adieu;
I will to Venice; Sunday comes apace:
We will have rings and things and fine array;
And kiss me, Kate, we will be married o’sunday.
Exeunt Petruchio and Katharina severally
Gremio Was ever match clapp’d up so suddenly?
Baptista Faith, gentlemen, now I play a merchant’s part,
And venture madly on a desperate mart.
Tranio ’Twas a commodity lay fretting by you:
’Twill bring you gain, or perish on the seas.
Baptista The gain I seek is, quiet in the match.
Gremio No doubt but he hath got a quiet catch.
But now, Baptists, to your younger daughter:
Now is the day we long have looked for:
I am your neighbour, and was suitor first.
Tranio And I am one that love Bianca more
Than words can witness, or your thoughts can guess.
Gremio Youngling, thou canst not love so dear as I.
Tranio Graybeard, thy love doth freeze.
Gremio But thine doth fry.
Skipper, stand back: ’tis age that nourisheth.
Tranio But youth in ladies’ eyes that flourisheth.
Baptista Content you, gentlemen: I will compound this strife:
’Tis deeds must win the prize; and he of both
That can assure my daughter greatest dower
Shall have my Bianca’s love.
Say, Signior Gremio, What can you assure her?
Gremio First, as you know, my house within the city
Is richly furnished with plate and gold;
Basins and ewers to lave her dainty hands;
My hangings all of Tyrian tapestry;
In ivory coffers I have stuff’d my crowns;
In cypress chests my arras counterpoints,
Costly apparel, tents, and canopies,
Fine linen, Turkey cushions boss’d with pearl,
Valance of Venice gold in needlework,
Pewter and brass and all things that belong
To house or housekeeping: then, at my farm
I have a hundred milch-kine to the pail,
Sixscore fat oxen standing in my stalls,
And all things answerable to this portion.
Myself am struck in years, I must confess;
And if I die to-morrow, this is hers,
If whilst I live she will be only mine.
Tranio That ‘only’ came well in. Sir, list to me:
I am my father’s heir and only son:
If I may have your daughter to my wife,
I’ll leave her houses three or four as good,
Within rich Pisa walls, as any one
Old Signior Gremio has in Padua;
Besides two thousand ducats by the year
Of fruitful land, all which shall be her jointure.
What, have I pinch’d you, Signior Gremio?
Gremio Two thousand ducats by the year of land!
My land amounts not to so much in all:
That she shall have; besides an argosy
That now is lying in Marseilles’ road.
What, have I choked you with an argosy?
Tranio Gremio, ’tis known my father hath no less
Than three great argosies; besides two galliases,
And twelve tight galleys: these I will assure her,
And twice as much, whate’er thou offer’st next.
Gremio Nay, I have offer’d all, I have no more;
And she can have no more than all I have:
If you like me, she shall have me and mine.
Tranio Why, then the maid is mine from all the world,
By your firm promise: Gremio is out-vied.
Baptista I must confess your offer is the best;
And, let your father make her the assurance,
She is your own; else, you must pardon me,
If you should die before him, where’s her dower?
Tranio That’s but a cavil: he is old, I young.
Gremio And may not young men die, as well as old?
Baptista Well, gentlemen,
I am thus resolved: on Sunday next you know
My daughter Katharina is to be married:
Now, on the Sunday following, shall Bianca
Be bride to you, if you this assurance;
If not, Signior Gremio:
And so, I take my leave, and thank you both.
Gremio Adieu, good neighbour.
Now I fear thee not:
Sirrah young gamester, your father were a fool
To give thee all, and in his waning age
Set foot under thy table: tut, a toy!
An old Italian fox is not so kind, my boy.
Tranio A vengeance on your crafty wither’d hide!
Yet I have faced it with a card of ten.
’Tis in my head to do my master good:
I see no reason but supposed Lucentio
Must get a father, call’d ‘supposed Vincentio;’
And that’s a wonder: fathers commonly
Do get their children; but in this case of wooing,
A child shall get a sire, if I fail not of my cunning.
Enter Lucentio, Hortensio, and Bianca
Lucentio Fiddler, forbear; you grow too forward, sir:
Have you so soon forgot the entertainment
Her sister Katharina welcomed you withal?
Hortensio But, wrangling pedant, this is
The patroness of heavenly harmony:
Then give me leave to have prerogative;
And when in music we have spent an hour,
Your lecture shall have leisure for as much.
Lucentio Preposterous ass, that never read so far
To know the cause why music was ordain’d!
Was it not to refresh the mind of man
After his studies or his usual pain?
Then give me leave to read philosophy,
And while I pause, serve in your harmony.
Hortensio Sirrah, I will not bear these braves of thine.
Bianca Why, gentlemen, you do me double wrong,
To strive for that which resteth in my choice:
I am no breeching scholar in the schools;
I’ll not be tied to hours nor ’pointed times,
But learn my lessons as I please myself.
And, to cut off all strife, here sit we down:
Take you your instrument, play you the whiles;
His lecture will be done ere you have tuned.
Hortensio You’ll leave his lecture when I am in tune?
Lucentio That will be never: tune your instrument.
Bianca Where left we last?
Lucentio Here, madam:
‘Hic ibat Simois; hic est Sigeia tellus;
Hic steterat Priami regia celsa senis.’
Bianca Construe them.
Lucentio ‘Hic ibat,’ as I told you before, ‘simois,’ I am Lucentio, ‘hic est,’ son unto Vincentio of Pisa, ‘sigeia tellus,’ disguised thus to get your love; ‘Hic steterat,’ and that Lucentio that comes a-wooing, ‘Priami,’ is my man Tranio, ‘regia,’ bearing my port, ‘celsa senis,’ that we might beguile the old pantaloon.
Hortensio Madam, my instrument’s in tune.
Bianca Let’s hear. O fie! the treble jars.
Lucentio Spit in the hole, man, and tune again.
Bianca Now let me see if I can construe it: ‘Hic ibat Simois,’ I know you not, ‘hic est Sigeia tellus,’ I trust you not; ‘Hic steterat Priami,’ take heed he hear us not, ‘regia,’ presume not, ‘celsa senis,’ despair not.
Hortensio Madam, ’tis now in tune.
Lucentio All but the base.
Hortensio The base is right; ’tis the base knave that jars.
How fiery and forward our pedant is!
Now, for my life, the knave doth court my love:
Pedascule, I’ll watch you better yet.
Bianca In time I may believe, yet I mistrust.
Lucentio Mistrust it not: for, sure, Aeacides
Was Ajax, call’d so from his grandfather.
Bianca I must believe my master; else, I promise you,
I should be arguing still upon that doubt:
But let it rest. Now, Licio, to you:
Good masters, take it not unkindly, pray,
That I have been thus pleasant with you both.
Hortensio You may go walk, and give me leave a while:
My lessons make no music in three parts.
Lucentio Are you so formal, sir? well, I must wait,
And watch withal; for, but I be deceived,
Our fine musician groweth amorous.
Hortensio Madam, before you touch the instrument,
To learn the order of my fingering,
I must begin with rudiments of art;
To teach you gamut in a briefer sort,
More pleasant, pithy and effectual,
Than hath been taught by any of my trade:
And there it is in writing, fairly drawn.
Bianca Why, I am past my gamut long ago.
Hortensio Yet read the gamut of Hortensio.
Bianca [Reads] ‘Gamut’ I am, the ground of all accord,
‘A re,’ to Plead Hortensio’s passion;
‘B mi,’ Bianca, take him for thy lord,
‘C fa ut,’ that loves with all affection:
‘D sol re,’ one clef, two notes have I:
‘E la mi,’ show pity, or I die.’
Call you this gamut? tut, I like it not:
Old fashions please me best; I am not so nice,
To change true rules for old inventions.
Enter a Servant
Servant Mistress, your father prays you leave your books
And help to dress your sister’s chamber up:
You know to-morrow is the wedding-day.
Bianca Farewell, sweet masters both; I must be gone.
Exeunt Bianca and Servant
Lucentio Faith, mistress, then I have no cause to stay.
Hortensio But I have cause to pry into this pedant:
Methinks he looks as though he were in love:
Yet if thy thoughts, Bianca, be so humble
To cast thy wandering eyes on every stale,
Seize thee that list: if once I find thee ranging,
Hortensio will be quit with thee by changing.
Enter Baptista, Gremio, Tranio, Katharina, Bianca, Lucentio, and others, attendants
Baptista [To Tranio] Signior Lucentio, this is the
That Katharina and Petruchio should be married,
And yet we hear not of our son-in-law.
What will be said? what mockery will it be,
To want the bridegroom when the priest attends
To speak the ceremonial rites of marriage!
What says Lucentio to this shame of ours?
Katharina No shame but mine: I must, forsooth, be forced
To give my hand opposed against my heart
Unto a mad-brain rudesby full of spleen;
Who woo’d in haste and means to wed at leisure.
I told you, I, he was a frantic fool,
Hiding his bitter jests in blunt behavior:
And, to be noted for a merry man,
He’ll woo a thousand, ’point the day of marriage,
Make feasts, invite friends, and proclaim the banns;
Yet never means to wed where he hath woo’d.
Now must the world point at poor Katharina,
And say, ‘Lo, there is mad Petruchio’s wife,
If it would please him come and marry her!’
Tranio Patience, good Katharina, and Baptista too.
Upon my life, Petruchio means but well,
Whatever fortune stays him from his word:
Though he be blunt, I know him passing wise;
Though he be merry, yet withal he’s honest.
Katharina Would Katharina had never seen him though!
Exit weeping, followed by Bianca and others
Baptista Go, girl; I cannot blame thee now to weep;
For such an injury would vex a very saint,
Much more a shrew of thy impatient humour.
Biondello Master, master! news, old news, and such news as you never heard of!
Baptista Is it new and old too? how may that be?
Biondello Why, is it not news, to hear of Petruchio’s coming?
Baptista Is he come?
Biondello Why, no, sir.
Baptista What then?
Biondello He is coming.
Baptista When will he be here?
Biondello When he stands where I am and sees you there.
Tranio But say, what to thine old news?
Biondello Why, Petruchio is coming in a new hat and an old jerkin, a pair of old breeches thrice turned, a pair of boots that have been candle-cases, one buckled, another laced, an old rusty sword ta’en out of the town-armory, with a broken hilt, and chapeless; with two broken points: his horse hipped with an old mothy saddle and stirrups of no kindred; besides, possessed with the glanders and like to mose in the chine; troubled with the lampass, infected with the fashions, full of wingdalls, sped with spavins, rayed with yellows, past cure of the fives, stark spoiled with the staggers, begnawn with the bots, swayed in the back and shoulder-shotten; near-legged before and with, a half-chequed bit and a head-stall of sheeps leather which, being restrained to keep him from stumbling, hath been often burst and now repaired with knots; one girth six time pieced and a woman’s crupper of velure, which hath two letters for her name fairly set down in studs, and here and there pieced with packthread.
Baptista Who comes with him?
Biondello O, sir, his lackey, for all the world caparisoned like the horse; with a linen stock on one leg and a kersey boot-hose on the other, gartered with a red and blue list; an old hat and ‘the humour of forty fancies’ pricked in’t for a feather: a monster, a very monster in apparel, and not like a Christian footboy or a gentleman’s lackey.
Tranio ’Tis some odd humour pricks him to this fashion;
Yet oftentimes he goes but mean-apparell’d.
Baptista I am glad he’s come, howsoe’er he comes.
Biondello Why, sir, he comes not.
Baptista Didst thou not say he comes?
Biondello Who? that Petruchio came?
Baptista Ay, that Petruchio came.
Biondello No, sir, I say his horse comes, with him on his back.
Baptista Why, that’s all one.
Biondello Nay, by Saint Jamy,
I hold you a penny,
A horse and a man
Is more than one,
And yet not many.
Enter Petruchio and Grumio
Petruchio Come, where be these gallants? who’s at home?
Baptista You are welcome, sir.
Petruchio And yet I come not well.
Baptista And yet you halt not.
Tranio Not so well apparell’d
As I wish you were.
Petruchio Were it better, I should rush in thus.
But where is Kate? where is my lovely bride?
How does my father? Gentles, methinks you frown:
And wherefore gaze this goodly company,
As if they saw some wondrous monument,
Some comet or unusual prodigy?
Baptista Why, sir, you know this is your wedding-day:
First were we sad, fearing you would not come;
Now sadder, that you come so unprovided.
Fie, doff this habit, shame to your estate,
An eye-sore to our solemn festival!
Tranio And tells us, what occasion of import
Hath all so long detain’d you from your wife,
And sent you hither so unlike yourself?
Petruchio Tedious it were to tell, and harsh to hear:
Sufficeth I am come to keep my word,
Though in some part enforced to digress;
Which, at more leisure, I will so excuse
As you shall well be satisfied withal.
But where is Kate? I stay too long from her:
The morning wears, ’tis time we were at church.
Tranio See not your bride in these unreverent robes:
Go to my chamber; Put on clothes of mine.
Petruchio Not I, believe me: thus I’ll visit her.
Baptista But thus, I trust, you will not marry her.
Petruchio Good sooth, even thus; therefore ha’ done with words:
To me she’s married, not unto my clothes:
Could I repair what she will wear in me,
As I can change these poor accoutrements,
’Twere well for Kate and better for myself.
But what a fool am I to chat with you,
When I should bid good morrow to my bride,
And seal the title with a lovely kiss!
Exeunt Petruchio and Grumio
Tranio He hath some meaning in his mad attire:
We will persuade him, be it possible,
To put on better ere he go to church.
Baptista I’ll after him, and see the event of this.
Exeunt Baptista, Gremio, and attendants
Tranio But to her love concerneth us to add
Her father’s liking: which to bring to pass,
As I before unparted to your worship,
I am to get a man — whate’er he be,
It skills not much. we’ll fit him to our turn —
And he shall be Vincentio of Pisa;
And make assurance here in Padua
Of greater sums than I have promised.
So shall you quietly enjoy your hope,
And marry sweet Bianca with consent.
Lucentio Were it not that my fellow-school-master
Doth watch Bianca’s steps so narrowly,
’Twere good, methinks, to steal our marriage;
Which once perform’d, let all the world say no,
I’ll keep mine own, despite of all the world.
Tranio That by degrees we mean to look into,
And watch our vantage in this business:
We’ll over-reach the greybeard, Gremio,
The narrow-prying father, Minola,
The quaint musician, amorous Licio;
All for my master’s sake, Lucentio.
Signior Gremio, came you from the church?
Gremio As willingly as e’er I came from school.
Tranio And is the bride and bridegroom coming home?
Gremio A bridegroom say you? ’tis a groom indeed,
A grumbling groom, and that the girl shall find.
Tranio Curster than she? why, ’tis impossible.
Gremio Why he’s a devil, a devil, a very fiend.
Tranio Why, she’s a devil, a devil, the devil’s dam.
Gremio Tut, she’s a lamb, a dove, a fool to him!
I’ll tell you, Sir Lucentio: when the priest
Should ask, if Katharina should be his wife,
‘Ay, by gogs-wouns,’ quoth he; and swore so loud,
That, all-amazed, the priest let fall the book;
And, as he stoop’d again to take it up,
The mad-brain’d bridegroom took him such a cuff
That down fell priest and book and book and priest:
‘Now take them up,’ quoth he, ‘if any list.’
Tranio What said the wench when he rose again?
Gremio Trembled and shook; for why, he stamp’d and swore,
As if the vicar meant to cozen him.
But after many ceremonies done,
He calls for wine: ‘A health!’ quoth he, as if
He had been aboard, carousing to his mates
After a storm; quaff’d off the muscadel
And threw the sops all in the sexton’s face;
Having no other reason
But that his beard grew thin and hungerly
And seem’d to ask him sops as he was drinking.
This done, he took the bride about the neck
And kiss’d her lips with such a clamorous smack
That at the parting all the church did echo:
And I seeing this came thence for very shame;
And after me, I know, the rout is coming.
Such a mad marriage never was before:
Hark, hark! I hear the minstrels play.
Re-enter Petruchio, Katharina, Bianca, Baptista, Hortensio, Grumio, and Train
Petruchio Gentlemen and friends, I thank you for your pains:
I know you think to dine with me to-day,
And have prepared great store of wedding cheer;
But so it is, my haste doth call me hence,
And therefore here I mean to take my leave.
Baptista Is’t possible you will away to-night?
Petruchio I must away to-day, before night come:
Make it no wonder; if you knew my business,
You would entreat me rather go than stay.
And, honest company, I thank you all,
That have beheld me give away myself
To this most patient, sweet and virtuous wife:
Dine with my father, drink a health to me;
For I must hence; and farewell to you all.
Tranio Let us entreat you stay till after dinner.
Petruchio It may not be.
Gremio Let me entreat you.
Petruchio It cannot be.
Katharina Let me entreat you.
Petruchio I am content.
Katharina Are you content to stay?
Petruchio I am content you shall entreat me stay;
But yet not stay, entreat me how you can.
Katharina Now, if you love me, stay.
Petruchio Grumio, my horse.
Grumio Ay, sir, they be ready: the oats have eaten the horses.
Katharina Nay, then,
Do what thou canst, I will not go to-day;
No, nor to-morrow, not till I please myself.
The door is open, sir; there lies your way;
You may be jogging whiles your boots are green;
For me, I’ll not be gone till I please myself:
’Tis like you’ll prove a jolly surly groom,
That take it on you at the first so roundly.
Petruchio O Kate, content thee; prithee, be not angry.
Katharina I will be angry: what hast thou to do?
Father, be quiet; he shall stay my leisure.
Gremio Ay, marry, sir, now it begins to work.
Katharina Gentlemen, forward to the bridal dinner:
I see a woman may be made a fool,
If she had not a spirit to resist.
Petruchio They shall go forward, Kate, at thy command.
Obey the bride, you that attend on her;
Go to the feast, revel and domineer,
Carouse full measure to her maidenhead,
Be mad and merry, or go hang yourselves:
But for my bonny Kate, she must with me.
Nay, look not big, nor stamp, nor stare, nor fret;
I will be master of what is mine own:
She is my goods, my chattels; she is my house,
My household stuff, my field, my barn,
My horse, my ox, my ass, my any thing;
And here she stands, touch her whoever dare;
I’ll bring mine action on the proudest he
That stops my way in Padua. Grumio,
Draw forth thy weapon, we are beset with thieves;
Rescue thy mistress, if thou be a man.
Fear not, sweet wench, they shall not touch thee, Kate:
I’ll buckler thee against a million.
Exeunt Petruchio, Katharina, and Grumio
Baptista Nay, let them go, a couple of quiet ones.
Gremio Went they not quickly, I should die with laughing.
Tranio Of all mad matches never was the like.
Lucentio Mistress, what’s your opinion of your sister?
Bianca That, being mad herself, she’s madly mated.
Gremio I warrant him, Petruchio is Kated.
Baptista Neighbours and friends, though bride and bridegroom wants
For to supply the places at the table,
You know there wants no junkets at the feast.
Lucentio, you shall supply the bridegroom’s place:
And let Bianca take her sister’s room.
Tranio Shall sweet Bianca practise how to bride it?
Baptista She shall, Lucentio. Come, gentlemen, let’s go.
Grumio Fie, fie on all tired jades, on all mad masters, and all foul ways! Was ever man so beaten? was ever man so rayed? was ever man so weary? I am sent before to make a fire, and they are coming after to warm them. Now, were not I a little pot and soon hot, my very lips might freeze to my teeth, my tongue to the roof of my mouth, my heart in my belly, ere I should come by a fire to thaw me: but I, with blowing the fire, shall warm myself; for, considering the weather, a taller man than I will take cold. Holla, ho! Curtis.
Curtis Who is that calls so coldly?
Grumio A piece of ice: if thou doubt it, thou mayst slide from my shoulder to my heel with no greater a run but my head and my neck. A fire good Curtis.
Curtis Is my master and his wife coming, Grumio?
Grumio O, ay, Curtis, ay: and therefore fire, fire; cast on no water.
Curtis Is she so hot a shrew as she’s reported?
Grumio She was, good Curtis, before this frost: but, thou knowest, winter tames man, woman and beast; for it hath tamed my old master and my new mistress and myself, fellow Curtis.
Curtis Away, you three-inch fool! I am no beast.
Grumio Am I but three inches? why, thy horn is a foot; and so long am I at the least. But wilt thou make a fire, or shall I complain on thee to our mistress, whose hand, she being now at hand, thou shalt soon feel, to thy cold comfort, for being slow in thy hot office?
Curtis I prithee, good Grumio, tell me, how goes the world?
Grumio A cold world, Curtis, in every office but thine; and therefore fire: do thy duty, and have thy duty; for my master and mistress are almost frozen to death.
Curtis There’s fire ready; and therefore, good Grumio, the news.
Grumio Why, ‘Jack, boy! ho! boy!’ and as much news as will thaw.
Curtis Come, you are so full of cony-catching!
Grumio Why, therefore fire; for I have caught extreme cold. Where’s the cook? is supper ready, the house trimmed, rushes strewed, cobwebs swept; the serving-men in their new fustian, their white stockings, and every officer his wedding-garment on? Be the jacks fair within, the jills fair without, the carpets laid, and every thing in order?
Curtis All ready; and therefore, I pray thee, news.
Grumio First, know, my horse is tired; my master and mistress fallen out.
Grumio Out of their saddles into the dirt; and thereby hangs a tale.
Curtis Let’s ha’t, good Grumio.
Grumio Lend thine ear.
Curtis This is to feel a tale, not to hear a tale.
Grumio And therefore ’tis called a sensible tale: and this cuff was but to knock at your ear, and beseech listening. Now I begin: Imprimis, we came down a foul hill, my master riding behind my mistress —
Curtis Both of one horse?
Grumio What’s that to thee?
Curtis Why, a horse.
Grumio Tell thou the tale: but hadst thou not crossed me, thou shouldst have heard how her horse fell and she under her horse; thou shouldst have heard in how miry a place, how she was bemoiled, how he left her with the horse upon her, how he beat me because her horse stumbled, how she waded through the dirt to pluck him off me, how he swore, how she prayed, that never prayed before, how I cried, how the horses ran away, how her bridle was burst, how I lost my crupper, with many things of worthy memory, which now shall die in oblivion and thou return unexperienced to thy grave.
Curtis By this reckoning he is more shrew than she.
Grumio Ay; and that thou and the proudest of you all shall find when he comes home. But what talk I of this? Call forth Nathaniel, Joseph, Nicholas, Philip, Walter, Sugarsop and the rest: let their heads be sleekly combed their blue coats brushed and their garters of an indifferent knit: let them curtsy with their left legs and not presume to touch a hair of my master’s horse-tail till they kiss their hands. Are they all ready?
Curtis They are.
Grumio Call them forth.
Curtis Do you hear, ho? you must meet my master to countenance my mistress.
Grumio Why, she hath a face of her own.
Curtis Who knows not that?
Grumio Thou, it seems, that calls for company to countenance her.
Curtis I call them forth to credit her.
Grumio Why, she comes to borrow nothing of them.
Enter four or five Serving-men
Nathaniel Welcome home, Grumio!
Philip How now, Grumio!
Joseph What, Grumio!
Nicholas Fellow Grumio!
Nathaniel How now, old lad?
Grumio Welcome, you; — how now, you; — what, you; — fellow, you; — and thus much for greeting. Now, my spruce companions, is all ready, and all things neat?
Nathaniel All things is ready. How near is our master?
Grumio E’en at hand, alighted by this; and therefore be not — Cock’s passion, silence! I hear my master.
Enter Petruchio and Katharina
Petruchio Where be these knaves? What, no man at door
To hold my stirrup nor to take my horse!
Where is Nathaniel, Gregory, Philip?
All Serving-Men Here, here, sir; here, sir.
Petruchio Here, sir! here, sir! here, sir! here, sir!
You logger-headed and unpolish’d grooms!
What, no attendance? no regard? no duty?
Where is the foolish knave I sent before?
Grumio Here, sir; as foolish as I was before.
Petruchio You peasant swain! you whoreson malt-horse drudge!
Did I not bid thee meet me in the park,
And bring along these rascal knaves with thee?
Grumio Nathaniel’s coat, sir, was not fully made,
And Gabriel’s pumps were all unpink’d i’ the heel;
There was no link to colour Peter’s hat,
And Walter’s dagger was not come from sheathing:
There were none fine but Adam, Ralph, and Gregory;
The rest were ragged, old, and beggarly;
Yet, as they are, here are they come to meet you.
Petruchio Go, rascals, go, and fetch my supper in.
Where is the life that late I led —
Where are those — Sit down, Kate, and welcome. —
Sound, sound, sound, sound!
Re-enter Servants with supper
Why, when, I say? Nay, good sweet Kate, be merry.
Off with my boots, you rogues! you villains, when?
It was the friar of orders grey,
As he forth walked on his way:—
Out, you rogue! you pluck my foot awry:
Take that, and mend the plucking off the other.
Be merry, Kate. Some water, here; what, ho!
Where’s my spaniel Troilus? Sirrah, get you hence,
And bid my cousin Ferdinand come hither:
One, Kate, that you must kiss, and be acquainted with.
Where are my slippers? Shall I have some water?
Enter one with water
Come, Kate, and wash, and welcome heartily.
You whoreson villain! will you let it fall?
Katharina Patience, I pray you; ’twas a fault unwilling.
Petruchio A whoreson beetle-headed, flap-ear’d knave!
Come, Kate, sit down; I know you have a stomach.
Will you give thanks, sweet Kate; or else shall I?
What’s this? mutton?
First Servant Ay.
Petruchio Who brought it?
Petruchio ’Tis burnt; and so is all the meat.
What dogs are these! Where is the rascal cook?
How durst you, villains, bring it from the dresser,
And serve it thus to me that love it not?
Theretake it to you, trenchers, cups, and all;
Throws the meat, & c. about the stage
You heedless joltheads and unmanner’d slaves!
What, do you grumble? I’ll be with you straight.
Katharina I pray you, husband, be not so disquiet:
The meat was well, if you were so contented.
Petruchio I tell thee, Kate, ’twas burnt and dried away;
And I expressly am forbid to touch it,
For it engenders choler, planteth anger;
And better ’twere that both of us did fast,
Since, of ourselves, ourselves are choleric,
Than feed it with such over-roasted flesh.
Be patient; to-morrow ’t shall be mended,
And, for this night, we’ll fast for company:
Come, I will bring thee to thy bridal chamber.
Re-enter Servants severally
Nathaniel Peter, didst ever see the like?
Peter He kills her in her own humour.
Grumio Where is he?
Curtis In her chamber, making a sermon of continency to her;
And rails, and swears, and rates, that she, poor soul,
Knows not which way to stand, to look, to speak,
And sits as one new-risen from a dream.
Away, away! for he is coming hither.
Petruchio Thus have I politicly begun my reign,
And ’tis my hope to end successfully.
My falcon now is sharp and passing empty;
And till she stoop she must not be full-gorged,
For then she never looks upon her lure.
Another way I have to man my haggard,
To make her come and know her keeper’s call,
That is, to watch her, as we watch these kites
That bate and beat and will not be obedient.
She eat no meat to-day, nor none shall eat;
Last night she slept not, nor to-night she shall not;
As with the meat, some undeserved fault
I’ll find about the making of the bed;
And here I’ll fling the pillow, there the bolster,
This way the coverlet, another way the sheets:
Ay, and amid this hurly I intend
That all is done in reverend care of her;
And in conclusion she shall watch all night:
And if she chance to nod I’ll rail and brawl
And with the clamour keep her still awake.
This is a way to kill a wife with kindness;
And thus I’ll curb her mad and headstrong humour.
He that knows better how to tame a shrew,
Now let him speak: ’tis charity to show.
Enter Tranio and Hortensio
Tranio Is’t possible, friend Licio, that Mistress Bianca
Doth fancy any other but Lucentio?
I tell you, sir, she bears me fair in hand.
Hortensio Sir, to satisfy you in what I have said,
Stand by and mark the manner of his teaching.
Enter Bianca and Lucentio
Lucentio Now, mistress, profit you in what you read?
Bianca What, master, read you? first resolve me that.
Lucentio I read that I profess, the Art to Love.
Bianca And may you prove, sir, master of your art!
Lucentio While you, sweet dear, prove mistress of my heart!
Hortensio Quick proceeders, marry! Now, tell me, I pray,
You that durst swear at your mistress Bianca
Loved none in the world so well as Lucentio.
Tranio O despiteful love! unconstant womankind!
I tell thee, Licio, this is wonderful.
Hortensio Mistake no more: I am not Licio,
Nor a musician, as I seem to be;
But one that scorn to live in this disguise,
For such a one as leaves a gentleman,
And makes a god of such a cullion:
Know, sir, that I am call’d Hortensio.
Tranio Signior Hortensio, I have often heard
Of your entire affection to Bianca;
And since mine eyes are witness of her lightness,
I will with you, if you be so contented,
Forswear Bianca and her love for ever.
Hortensio See, how they kiss and court! Signior Lucentio,
Here is my hand, and here I firmly vow
Never to woo her no more, but do forswear her,
As one unworthy all the former favours
That I have fondly flatter’d her withal.
Tranio And here I take the unfeigned oath,
Never to marry with her though she would entreat:
Fie on her! see, how beastly she doth court him!
Hortensio Would all the world but he had quite forsworn!
For me, that I may surely keep mine oath,
I will be married to a wealthy widow,
Ere three days pass, which hath as long loved me
As I have loved this proud disdainful haggard.
And so farewell, Signior Lucentio.
Kindness in women, not their beauteous looks,
Shall win my love: and so I take my leave,
In resolution as I swore before.
Tranio Mistress Bianca, bless you with such grace
As ’longeth to a lover’s blessed case!
Nay, I have ta’en you napping, gentle love,
And have forsworn you with Hortensio.
Bianca Tranio, you jest: but have you both forsworn me?
Tranio Mistress, we have.
Lucentio Then we are rid of Licio.
Tranio I’ faith, he’ll have a lusty widow now,
That shall be wood and wedded in a day.
Bianca God give him joy!
Tranio Ay, and he’ll tame her.
Bianca He says so, Tranio.
Tranio Faith, he is gone unto the taming-school.
Bianca The taming-school! what, is there such a place?
Tranio Ay, mistress, and Petruchio is the master;
That teacheth tricks eleven and twenty long,
To tame a shrew and charm her chattering tongue.
Biondello O master, master, I have watch’d so long
That I am dog-weary: but at last I spied
An ancient angel coming down the hill,
Will serve the turn.
Tranio What is he, Biondello?
Biondello Master, a mercatante, or a pedant,
I know not what; but format in apparel,
In gait and countenance surely like a father.
Lucentio And what of him, Tranio?
Tranio If he be credulous and trust my tale,
I’ll make him glad to seem Vincentio,
And give assurance to Baptista Minola,
As if he were the right Vincentio
Take in your love, and then let me alone.
Exeunt Lucentio and Bianca
Enter a Pedant
Pedant God save you, sir!
Tranio And you, sir! you are welcome.
Travel you far on, or are you at the farthest?
Pedant Sir, at the farthest for a week or two:
But then up farther, and as for as Rome;
And so to Tripoli, if God lend me life.
Tranio What countryman, I pray?
Pedant Of Mantua.
Tranio Of Mantua, sir? marry, God forbid!
And come to Padua, careless of your life?
Pedant My life, sir! how, I pray? for that goes hard.
Tranio ’Tis death for any one in Mantua
To come to Padua. Know you not the cause?
Your ships are stay’d at Venice, and the duke,
For private quarrel ’twixt your duke and him,
Hath publish’d and proclaim’d it openly:
’Tis, marvel, but that you are but newly come,
You might have heard it else proclaim’d about.
Pedant Alas! sir, it is worse for me than so;
For I have bills for money by exchange
From Florence and must here deliver them.
Tranio Well, sir, to do you courtesy,
This will I do, and this I will advise you:
First, tell me, have you ever been at Pisa?
Pedant Ay, sir, in Pisa have I often been,
Pisa renowned for grave citizens.
Tranio Among them know you one Vincentio?
Pedant I know him not, but I have heard of him;
A merchant of incomparable wealth.
Tranio He is my father, sir; and, sooth to say,
In countenance somewhat doth resemble you.
Biondello [Aside] As much as an apple doth an oyster, and all one.
Tranio To save your life in this extremity,
This favour will I do you for his sake;
And think it not the worst of an your fortunes
That you are like to Sir Vincentio.
His name and credit shall you undertake,
And in my house you shall be friendly lodged:
Look that you take upon you as you should;
You understand me, sir: so shall you stay
Till you have done your business in the city:
If this be courtesy, sir, accept of it.
Pedant O sir, I do; and will repute you ever
The patron of my life and liberty.
Tranio Then go with me to make the matter good.
This, by the way, I let you understand;
My father is here look’d for every day,
To pass assurance of a dower in marriage
’Twixt me and one Baptista’s daughter here:
In all these circumstances I’ll instruct you:
Go with me to clothe you as becomes you.
Enter Katharina and Grumio
Grumio No, no, forsooth; I dare not for my life.
Katharina The more my wrong, the more his spite appears:
What, did he marry me to famish me?
Beggars, that come unto my father’s door,
Upon entreaty have a present aims;
If not, elsewhere they meet with charity:
But I, who never knew how to entreat,
Nor never needed that I should entreat,
Am starved for meat, giddy for lack of sleep,
With oath kept waking and with brawling fed:
And that which spites me more than all these wants,
He does it under name of perfect love;
As who should say, if I should sleep or eat,
’Twere deadly sickness or else present death.
I prithee go and get me some repast;
I care not what, so it be wholesome food.
Grumio What say you to a neat’s foot?
Katharina ’Tis passing good: I prithee let me have it.
Grumio I fear it is too choleric a meat.
How say you to a fat tripe finely broil’d?
Katharina I like it well: good Grumio, fetch it me.
Grumio I cannot tell; I fear ’tis choleric.
What say you to a piece of beef and mustard?
Katharina A dish that I do love to feed upon.
Grumio Ay, but the mustard is too hot a little.
Katharina Why then, the beef, and let the mustard rest.
Grumio Nay then, I will not: you shall have the mustard,
Or else you get no beef of Grumio.
Katharina Then both, or one, or any thing thou wilt.
Grumio Why then, the mustard without the beef.
Katharina Go, get thee gone, thou false deluding slave,
That feed’st me with the very name of meat:
Sorrow on thee and all the pack of you,
That triumph thus upon my misery!
Go, get thee gone, I say.
Enter Petruchio and Hortensio with meat
Petruchio How fares my Kate? What, sweeting, all amort?
Hortensio Mistress, what cheer?
Katharina Faith, as cold as can be.
Petruchio Pluck up thy spirits; look cheerfully upon me.
Here love; thou see’st how diligent I am
To dress thy meat myself and bring it thee:
I am sure, sweet Kate, this kindness merits thanks.
What, not a word? Nay, then thou lovest it not;
And all my pains is sorted to no proof.
Here, take away this dish.
Katharina I pray you, let it stand.
Petruchio The poorest service is repaid with thanks;
And so shall mine, before you touch the meat.
Katharina I thank you, sir.
Hortensio Signior Petruchio, fie! you are to blame.
Come, mistress Kate, I’ll bear you company.
Petruchio [Aside] Eat it up all, Hortensio, if thou lovest
Much good do it unto thy gentle heart!
Kate, eat apace: and now, my honey love,
Will we return unto thy father’s house
And revel it as bravely as the best,
With silken coats and caps and golden rings,
With ruffs and cuffs and fardingales and things;
With scarfs and fans and double change of bravery,
With amber bracelets, beads and all this knavery.
What, hast thou dined? The tailor stays thy leisure,
To deck thy body with his ruffling treasure.
Come, tailor, let us see these ornaments;
Lay forth the gown.
What news with you, sir?
Haberdasher Here is the cap your worship did bespeak.
Petruchio Why, this was moulded on a porringer;
A velvet dish: fie, fie! ’tis lewd and filthy:
Why, ’tis a cockle or a walnut-shell,
A knack, a toy, a trick, a baby’s cap:
Away with it! come, let me have a bigger.
Katharina I’ll have no bigger: this doth fit the time,
And gentlewomen wear such caps as these
Petruchio When you are gentle, you shall have one too,
And not till then.
Hortensio [Aside] That will not be in haste.
Katharina Why, sir, I trust I may have leave to speak;
And speak I will; I am no child, no babe:
Your betters have endured me say my mind,
And if you cannot, best you stop your ears.
My tongue will tell the anger of my heart,
Or else my heart concealing it will break,
And rather than it shall, I will be free
Even to the uttermost, as I please, in words.
Petruchio Why, thou say’st true; it is a paltry cap,
A custard-coffin, a bauble, a silken pie:
I love thee well, in that thou likest it not.
Katharina Love me or love me not, I like the cap;
And it I will have, or I will have none.
Petruchio Thy gown? why, ay: come, tailor, let us see’t.
O mercy, God! what masquing stuff is here?
What’s this? a sleeve? ’tis like a demi-cannon:
What, up and down, carved like an apple-tart?
Here’s snip and nip and cut and slish and slash,
Like to a censer in a barber’s shop:
Why, what, i’ devil’s name, tailor, call’st thou this?
Hortensio [Aside] I see she’s like to have neither cap nor gown.
Tailor You bid me make it orderly and well,
According to the fashion and the time.
Petruchio Marry, and did; but if you be remember’d,
I did not bid you mar it to the time.
Go, hop me over every kennel home,
For you shall hop without my custom, sir:
I’ll none of it: hence! make your best of it.
Katharina I never saw a better-fashion’d gown,
More quaint, more pleasing, nor more commendable:
Belike you mean to make a puppet of me.
Petruchio Why, true; he means to make a puppet of thee.
Tailor She says your worship means to make a puppet of her.
Petruchio O monstrous arrogance! Thou liest, thou thread, thou thimble,
Thou yard, three-quarters, half-yard, quarter, nail!
Thou flea, thou nit, thou winter-cricket thou!
Braved in mine own house with a skein of thread?
Away, thou rag, thou quantity, thou remnant;
Or I shall so be-mete thee with thy yard
As thou shalt think on prating whilst thou livest!
I tell thee, I, that thou hast marr’d her gown.
Tailor Your worship is deceived; the gown is made
Just as my master had direction:
Grumio gave order how it should be done.
Grumio I gave him no order; I gave him the stuff.
Tailor But how did you desire it should be made?
Grumio Marry, sir, with needle and thread.
Tailor But did you not request to have it cut?
Grumio Thou hast faced many things.
Tailor I have.
Grumio Face not me: thou hast braved many men; brave not me; I will neither be faced nor braved. I say unto thee, I bid thy master cut out the gown; but I did not bid him cut it to pieces: ergo, thou liest.
Tailor Why, here is the note of the fashion to testify
Petruchio Read it.
Grumio The note lies in’s throat, if he say I said so.
Tailor [Reads] ‘Imprimis, a loose-bodied gown:’
Grumio Master, if ever I said loose-bodied gown, sew me in the skirts of it, and beat me to death with a bottom of brown thread: I said a gown.
Tailor [Reads] ‘With a small compassed cape:’
Grumio I confess the cape.
Tailor [Reads] ‘With a trunk sleeve:’
Grumio I confess two sleeves.
Tailor [Reads] ‘The sleeves curiously cut.’
Petruchio Ay, there’s the villany.
Grumio Error i’ the bill, sir; error i’ the bill. I commanded the sleeves should be cut out and sewed up again; and that I’ll prove upon thee, though thy little finger be armed in a thimble.
Tailor This is true that I say: an I had thee in place where, thou shouldst know it.
Grumio I am for thee straight: take thou the bill, give me thy mete-yard, and spare not me.
Hortensio God-a-mercy, Grumio! then he shall have no odds.
Petruchio Well, sir, in brief, the gown is not for me.
Grumio You are i’ the right, sir: ’tis for my mistress.
Petruchio Go, take it up unto thy master’s use.
Grumio Villain, not for thy life: take up my mistress’ gown for thy master’s use!
Petruchio Why, sir, what’s your conceit in that?
Grumio O, sir, the conceit is deeper than you think for:
Take up my mistress’ gown to his master’s use!
O, fie, fie, fie!
Petruchio [Aside] Hortensio, say thou wilt see the tailor
Go take it hence; be gone, and say no more.
Hortensio Tailor, I’ll pay thee for thy gown tomorrow:
Take no unkindness of his hasty words:
Away! I say; commend me to thy master.
Petruchio Well, come, my Kate; we will unto your father’s
Even in these honest mean habiliments:
Our purses shall be proud, our garments poor;
For ’tis the mind that makes the body rich;
And as the sun breaks through the darkest clouds,
So honour peereth in the meanest habit.
What is the jay more precious than the lark,
Because his fathers are more beautiful?
Or is the adder better than the eel,
Because his painted skin contents the eye?
O, no, good Kate; neither art thou the worse
For this poor furniture and mean array.
If thou account’st it shame. lay it on me;
And therefore frolic: we will hence forthwith,
To feast and sport us at thy father’s house.
Go, call my men, and let us straight to him;
And bring our horses unto Long-lane end;
There will we mount, and thither walk on foot
Let’s see; I think ’tis now some seven o’clock,
And well we may come there by dinner-time.
Katharina I dare assure you, sir, ’tis almost two;
And ’twill be supper-time ere you come there.
Petruchio It shall be seven ere I go to horse:
Look, what I speak, or do, or think to do,
You are still crossing it. Sirs, let’t alone:
I will not go to-day; and ere I do,
It shall be what o’clock I say it is.
Hortensio [Aside] Why, so this gallant will command the sun.
Enter Tranio, and the Pedant dressed like Vincentio
Tranio Sir, this is the house: please it you that I call?
Pedant Ay, what else? and but I be deceived
Signior Baptista may remember me,
Near twenty years ago, in Genoa,
Where we were lodgers at the Pegasus.
Tranio ’Tis well; and hold your own, in any case,
With such austerity as ’longeth to a father.
Pedant I warrant you.
But, sir, here comes your boy;
’Twere good he were school’d.
Tranio Fear you not him. Sirrah Biondello,
Now do your duty throughly, I advise you:
Imagine ’twere the right Vincentio.
Biondello Tut, fear not me.
Tranio But hast thou done thy errand to Baptista?
Biondello I told him that your father was at Venice,
And that you look’d for him this day in Padua.
Tranio Thou’rt a tall fellow: hold thee that to drink.
Here comes Baptista: set your countenance, sir.
Enter Baptista and Lucentio
Signior Baptista, you are happily met.
To the Pedant
Sir, this is the gentleman I told you of:
I pray you stand good father to me now,
Give me Bianca for my patrimony.
Pedant Soft son!
Sir, by your leave: having come to Padua
To gather in some debts, my son Lucentio
Made me acquainted with a weighty cause
Of love between your daughter and himself:
And, for the good report I hear of you
And for the love he beareth to your daughter
And she to him, to stay him not too long,
I am content, in a good father’s care,
To have him match’d; and if you please to like
No worse than I, upon some agreement
Me shall you find ready and willing
With one consent to have her so bestow’d;
For curious I cannot be with you,
Signior Baptista, of whom I hear so well.
Baptista Sir, pardon me in what I have to say:
Your plainness and your shortness please me well.
Right true it is, your son Lucentio here
Doth love my daughter and she loveth him,
Or both dissemble deeply their affections:
And therefore, if you say no more than this,
That like a father you will deal with him
And pass my daughter a sufficient dower,
The match is made, and all is done:
Your son shall have my daughter with consent.
Tranio I thank you, sir. Where then do you know best
We be affied and such assurance ta’en
As shall with either part’s agreement stand?
Baptista Not in my house, Lucentio; for, you know,
Pitchers have ears, and I have many servants:
Besides, old Gremio is hearkening still;
And happily we might be interrupted.
Tranio Then at my lodging, an it like you:
There doth my father lie; and there, this night,
We’ll pass the business privately and well.
Send for your daughter by your servant here:
My boy shall fetch the scrivener presently.
The worst is this, that, at so slender warning,
You are like to have a thin and slender pittance.
Baptista It likes me well. Biondello, hie you home,
And bid Bianca make her ready straight;
And, if you will, tell what hath happened,
Lucentio’s father is arrived in Padua,
And how she’s like to be Lucentio’s wife.
Biondello I pray the gods she may with all my heart!
Tranio Dally not with the gods, but get thee gone.
Signior Baptista, shall I lead the way?
Welcome! one mess is like to be your cheer:
Come, sir; we will better it in Pisa.
Baptista I follow you.
Exeunt Tranio, Pedant, and Baptista
Lucentio What sayest thou, Biondello?
Biondello You saw my master wink and laugh upon you?
Lucentio Biondello, what of that?
Biondello Faith, nothing; but has left me here behind, to expound the meaning or moral of his signs and tokens.
Lucentio I pray thee, moralize them.
Biondello Then thus. Baptista is safe, talking with the deceiving father of a deceitful son.
Lucentio And what of him?
Biondello His daughter is to be brought by you to the supper.
Lucentio And then?
Biondello The old priest of Saint Luke’s church is at your command at all hours.
Lucentio And what of all this?
Biondello I cannot tell; expect they are busied about a counterfeit assurance: take you assurance of her, ‘cum privilegio ad imprimendum solum:’ to the church; take the priest, clerk, and some sufficient honest witnesses: If this be not that you look for, I have no more to say, But bid Bianca farewell for ever and a day.
Lucentio Hearest thou, Biondello?
Biondello I cannot tarry: I knew a wench married in an afternoon as she went to the garden for parsley to stuff a rabbit; and so may you, sir: and so, adieu, sir. My master hath appointed me to go to Saint Luke’s, to bid the priest be ready to come against you come with your appendix.
Lucentio I may, and will, if she be so contented:
She will be pleased; then wherefore should I doubt?
Hap what hap may, I’ll roundly go about her:
It shall go hard if Cambio go without her.
Enter Petruchio, Katharina, Hortensio, and Servants
Petruchio Come on, i’ God’s name; once more toward our father’s.
Good Lord, how bright and goodly shines the moon!
Katharina The moon! the sun: it is not moonlight now.
Petruchio I say it is the moon that shines so bright.
Katharina I know it is the sun that shines so bright.
Petruchio Now, by my mother’s son, and that’s myself,
It shall be moon, or star, or what I list,
Or ere I journey to your father’s house.
Go on, and fetch our horses back again.
Evermore cross’d and cross’d; nothing but cross’d!
Hortensio Say as he says, or we shall never go.
Katharina Forward, I pray, since we have come so far,
And be it moon, or sun, or what you please:
An if you please to call it a rush-candle,
Henceforth I vow it shall be so for me.
Petruchio I say it is the moon.
Katharina I know it is the moon.
Petruchio Nay, then you lie: it is the blessed sun.
Katharina Then, God be bless’d, it is the blessed sun:
But sun it is not, when you say it is not;
And the moon changes even as your mind.
What you will have it named, even that it is;
And so it shall be so for Katharina.
Hortensio Petruchio, go thy ways; the field is won.
Petruchio Well, forward, forward! thus the bowl should run,
And not unluckily against the bias.
But, soft! company is coming here.
Good morrow, gentle mistress: where away?
Tell me, sweet Kate, and tell me truly too,
Hast thou beheld a fresher gentlewoman?
Such war of white and red within her cheeks!
What stars do spangle heaven with such beauty,
As those two eyes become that heavenly face?
Fair lovely maid, once more good day to thee.
Sweet Kate, embrace her for her beauty’s sake.
Hortensio A’ will make the man mad, to make a woman of him.
Katharina Young budding virgin, fair and fresh and sweet,
Whither away, or where is thy abode?
Happy the parents of so fair a child;
Happier the man, whom favourable stars
Allot thee for his lovely bed-fellow!
Petruchio Why, how now, Kate! I hope thou art not mad:
This is a man, old, wrinkled, faded, wither’d,
And not a maiden, as thou say’st he is.
Katharina Pardon, old father, my mistaking eyes,
That have been so bedazzled with the sun
That everything I look on seemeth green:
Now I perceive thou art a reverend father;
Pardon, I pray thee, for my mad mistaking.
Petruchio Do, good old grandsire; and withal make known
Which way thou travellest: if along with us,
We shall be joyful of thy company.
Vincentio Fair sir, and you my merry mistress,
That with your strange encounter much amazed me,
My name is call’d Vincentio; my dwelling Pisa;
And bound I am to Padua; there to visit
A son of mine, which long I have not seen.
Petruchio What is his name?
Vincentio Lucentio, gentle sir.
Petruchio Happily we met; the happier for thy son.
And now by law, as well as reverend age,
I may entitle thee my loving father:
The sister to my wife, this gentlewoman,
Thy son by this hath married. Wonder not,
Nor be grieved: she is of good esteem,
Her dowery wealthy, and of worthy birth;
Beside, so qualified as may beseem
The spouse of any noble gentleman.
Let me embrace with old Vincentio,
And wander we to see thy honest son,
Who will of thy arrival be full joyous.
Vincentio But is it true? or else is it your pleasure,
Like pleasant travellers, to break a jest
Upon the company you overtake?
Hortensio I do assure thee, father, so it is.
Petruchio Come, go along, and see the truth hereof;
For our first merriment hath made thee jealous.
Exeunt all but Hortensio
Hortensio Well, Petruchio, this has put me in heart.
Have to my widow! and if she be froward,
Then hast thou taught Hortensio to be untoward.
Gremio discovered. Enter behind Biondello, Lucentio, and Bianca
Biondello Softly and swiftly, sir; for the priest is ready.
Lucentio I fly, Biondello: but they may chance to need thee at home; therefore leave us.
Biondello Nay, faith, I’ll see the church o’ your back; and then come back to my master’s as soon as I can.
Exeunt Lucentio, Bianca, and Biondello
Gremio I marvel Cambio comes not all this while.
Enter Petruchio, Katharina, Vincentio, Grumio, with Attendants
Petruchio Sir, here’s the door, this is Lucentio’s house:
My father’s bears more toward the market-place;
Thither must I, and here I leave you, sir.
Vincentio You shall not choose but drink before you go:
I think I shall command your welcome here,
And, by all likelihood, some cheer is toward.
Gremio They’re busy within; you were best knock louder.
Pedant looks out of the window
Pedant What’s he that knocks as he would beat down the gate?
Vincentio Is Signior Lucentio within, sir?
Pedant He’s within, sir, but not to be spoken withal.
Vincentio What if a man bring him a hundred pound or two, to make merry withal?
Pedant Keep your hundred pounds to yourself: he shall need none, so long as I live.
Petruchio Nay, I told you your son was well beloved in Padua. Do you hear, sir? To leave frivolous circumstances, I pray you, tell Signior Lucentio that his father is come from Pisa, and is here at the door to speak with him.
Pedant Thou liest: his father is come from Padua and here looking out at the window.
Vincentio Art thou his father?
Pedant Ay, sir; so his mother says, if I may believe her.
Petruchio [To Vincentio] Why, how now, gentleman! why, this is flat knavery, to take upon you another man’s name.
Pedant Lay hands on the villain: I believe a’ means to cozen somebody in this city under my countenance.
Biondello I have seen them in the church together: God send ’em good shipping! But who is here? mine old master Vincentio! now we are undone and brought to nothing.
Vincentio [Seeing Biondello]
Come hither, crack-hemp.
Biondello Hope I may choose, sir.
Vincentio Come hither, you rogue. What, have you forgot me?
Biondello Forgot you! no, sir: I could not forget you, for I never saw you before in all my life.
Vincentio What, you notorious villain, didst thou never see thy master’s father, Vincentio?
Biondello What, my old worshipful old master? yes, marry, sir: see where he looks out of the window.
Vincentio Is’t so, indeed.
Biondello Help, help, help! here’s a madman will murder me.
Pedant Help, son! help, Signior Baptista!
Exit from above
Petruchio Prithee, Kate, let’s stand aside and see the end of this controversy.
Re-enter Pedant below; Tranio, Baptista, and Servants
Tranio Sir, what are you that offer to beat my servant?
Vincentio What am I, sir! nay, what are you, sir? O immortal gods! O fine villain! A silken doublet! a velvet hose! a scarlet cloak! and a copatain hat! O, I am undone! I am undone! while I play the good husband at home, my son and my servant spend all at the university.
Tranio How now! what’s the matter?
Baptista What, is the man lunatic?
Tranio Sir, you seem a sober ancient gentleman by your habit, but your words show you a madman. Why, sir, what ’cerns it you if I wear pearl and gold? I thank my good father, I am able to maintain it.
Vincentio Thy father! O villain! he is a sailmaker in Bergamo.
Baptista You mistake, sir, you mistake, sir. Pray, what do you think is his name?
Vincentio His name! as if I knew not his name: I have brought him up ever since he was three years old, and his name is Tranio.
Pedant Away, away, mad ass! his name is Lucentio and he is mine only son, and heir to the lands of me, Signior Vincentio.
Vincentio Lucentio! O, he hath murdered his master! Lay hold on him, I charge you, in the duke’s name. O, my son, my son! Tell me, thou villain, where is my son Lucentio?
Tranio Call forth an officer.
Enter one with an Officer
Carry this mad knave to the gaol. Father Baptista,
I charge you see that he be forthcoming.
Vincentio Carry me to the gaol!
Gremio Stay, officer: he shall not go to prison.
Baptista Talk not, Signior Gremio: I say he shall go to prison.
Gremio Take heed, Signior Baptista, lest you be cony-catched in this business: I dare swear this is the right Vincentio.
Pedant Swear, if thou darest.
Gremio Nay, I dare not swear it.
Tranio Then thou wert best say that I am not Lucentio.
Gremio Yes, I know thee to be Signior Lucentio.
Baptista Away with the dotard! to the gaol with him!
Vincentio Thus strangers may be hailed and abused: O monstrous villain!
Re-enter Biondello, with Lucentio and Bianca
Biondello O! we are spoiled and — yonder he is: deny him, forswear him, or else we are all undone.
Lucentio [Kneeling] Pardon, sweet father.
Vincentio Lives my sweet son?
Exeunt Biondello, Tranio, and Pedant, as fast as may be
Bianca Pardon, dear father.
Baptista How hast thou offended?
Where is Lucentio?
Lucentio Here’s Lucentio,
Right son to the right Vincentio;
That have by marriage made thy daughter mine,
While counterfeit supposes bleared thine eyne.
Gremio Here’s packing, with a witness to deceive us all!
Vincentio Where is that damned villain Tranio,
That faced and braved me in this matter so?
Baptista Why, tell me, is not this my Cambio?
Bianca Cambio is changed into Lucentio.
Lucentio Love wrought these miracles. Bianca’s love
Made me exchange my state with Tranio,
While he did bear my countenance in the town;
And happily I have arrived at the last
Unto the wished haven of my bliss.
What Tranio did, myself enforced him to;
Then pardon him, sweet father, for my sake.
Vincentio I’ll slit the villain’s nose, that would have sent me to the gaol.
Baptista But do you hear, sir? have you married my daughter without asking my good will?
Vincentio Fear not, Baptista; we will content you, go to: but
I will in, to be revenged for this villany.
Baptista And I, to sound the depth of this knavery.
Lucentio Look not pale, Bianca; thy father will not frown.
Exeunt Lucentio and Bianca
Gremio My cake is dough; but I’ll in among the rest,
Out of hope of all, but my share of the feast.
Katharina Husband, let’s follow, to see the end of this ado.
Petruchio First kiss me, Kate, and we will.
Katharina What, in the midst of the street?
Petruchio What, art thou ashamed of me?
Katharina No, sir, God forbid; but ashamed to kiss.
Petruchio Why, then let’s home again. Come, sirrah, let’s away.
Katharina Nay, I will give thee a kiss: now pray thee, love, stay.
Petruchio Is not this well? Come, my sweet Kate:
Better once than never, for never too late.
Enter Baptista, Vincentio, Gremio, the Pedant, Lucentio, Bianca, Petruchio, Katharina, Hortensio, and Widow, Tranio, Biondello, and Grumio the Serving-men with Tranio bringing in a banquet
Lucentio At last, though long, our jarring notes agree:
And time it is, when raging war is done,
To smile at scapes and perils overblown.
My fair Bianca, bid my father welcome,
While I with self-same kindness welcome thine.
Brother Petruchio, sister Katharina,
And thou, Hortensio, with thy loving widow,
Feast with the best, and welcome to my house:
My banquet is to close our stomachs up,
After our great good cheer. Pray you, sit down;
For now we sit to chat as well as eat.
Petruchio Nothing but sit and sit, and eat and eat!
Baptista Padua affords this kindness, son Petruchio.
Petruchio Padua affords nothing but what is kind.
Hortensio For both our sakes, I would that word were true.
Petruchio Now, for my life, Hortensio fears his widow.
Widow Then never trust me, if I be afeard.
Petruchio You are very sensible, and yet you miss my sense:
I mean, Hortensio is afeard of you.
Widow He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.
Petruchio Roundly replied.
Katharina Mistress, how mean you that?
Widow Thus I conceive by him.
Petruchio Conceives by me! How likes Hortensio that?
Hortensio My widow says, thus she conceives her tale.
Petruchio Very well mended. Kiss him for that, good widow.
Katharina ‘He that is giddy thinks the world turns round:’
I pray you, tell me what you meant by that.
Widow Your husband, being troubled with a shrew,
Measures my husband’s sorrow by his woe:
And now you know my meaning,
Katharina A very mean meaning.
Widow Right, I mean you.
Katharina And I am mean indeed, respecting you.
Petruchio To her, Kate!
Hortensio To her, widow!
Petruchio A hundred marks, my Kate does put her down.
Hortensio That’s my office.
Petruchio Spoke like an officer; ha’ to thee, lad!
Drinks to Hortensio
Baptista How likes Gremio these quick-witted folks?
Gremio Believe me, sir, they butt together well.
Bianca Head, and butt! an hasty-witted body
Would say your head and butt were head and horn.
Vincentio Ay, mistress bride, hath that awaken’d you?
Bianca Ay, but not frighted me; therefore I’ll sleep again.
Petruchio Nay, that you shall not: since you have begun,
Have at you for a bitter jest or two!
Bianca Am I your bird? I mean to shift my bush;
And then pursue me as you draw your bow.
You are welcome all.
Exeunt Bianca, Katharina, and Widow
Petruchio She hath prevented me. Here, Signior Tranio.
This bird you aim’d at, though you hit her not;
Therefore a health to all that shot and miss’d.
Tranio O, sir, Lucentio slipp’d me like his greyhound,
Which runs himself and catches for his master.
Petruchio A good swift simile, but something currish.
Tranio ’Tis well, sir, that you hunted for yourself:
’Tis thought your deer does hold you at a bay.
Baptista O ho, Petruchio! Tranio hits you now.
Lucentio I thank thee for that gird, good Tranio.
Hortensio Confess, confess, hath he not hit you here?
Petruchio A’ has a little gall’d me, I confess;
And, as the jest did glance away from me,
’Tis ten to one it maim’d you two outright.
Baptista Now, in good sadness, son Petruchio,
I think thou hast the veriest shrew of all.
Petruchio Well, I say no: and therefore for assurance
Let’s each one send unto his wife;
And he whose wife is most obedient
To come at first when he doth send for her,
Shall win the wager which we will propose.
Hortensio Content. What is the wager?
Lucentio Twenty crowns.
Petruchio Twenty crowns!
I’ll venture so much of my hawk or hound,
But twenty times so much upon my wife.
Lucentio A hundred then.
Petruchio A match! ’tis done.
Hortensio Who shall begin?
Lucentio That will I.
Go, Biondello, bid your mistress come to me.
Biondello I go.
Baptista Son, I’ll be your half, Bianca comes.
Lucentio I’ll have no halves; I’ll bear it all myself.
How now! what news?
Biondello Sir, my mistress sends you word
That she is busy and she cannot come.
Petruchio How! she is busy and she cannot come!
Is that an answer?
Gremio Ay, and a kind one too:
Pray God, sir, your wife send you not a worse.
Petruchio I hope better.
Hortensio Sirrah Biondello, go and entreat my wife
To come to me forthwith.
Petruchio O, ho! entreat her!
Nay, then she must needs come.
Hortensio I am afraid, sir,
Do what you can, yours will not be entreated.
Now, where’s my wife?
Biondello She says you have some goodly jest in hand:
She will not come: she bids you come to her.
Petruchio Worse and worse; she will not come! O vile,
Intolerable, not to be endured!
Sirrah Grumio, go to your mistress;
Say, I command her to come to me.
Hortensio I know her answer.
Hortensio She will not.
Petruchio The fouler fortune mine, and there an end.
Baptista Now, by my holidame, here comes Katharina!
Katharina What is your will, sir, that you send for me?
Petruchio Where is your sister, and Hortensio’s wife?
Katharina They sit conferring by the parlor fire.
Petruchio Go fetch them hither: if they deny to come.
Swinge me them soundly forth unto their husbands:
Away, I say, and bring them hither straight.
Lucentio Here is a wonder, if you talk of a wonder.
Hortensio And so it is: I wonder what it bodes.
Petruchio Marry, peace it bodes, and love and quiet life,
And awful rule and right supremacy;
And, to be short, what not, that’s sweet and happy?
Baptista Now, fair befal thee, good Petruchio!
The wager thou hast won; and I will add
Unto their losses twenty thousand crowns;
Another dowry to another daughter,
For she is changed, as she had never been.
Petruchio Nay, I will win my wager better yet
And show more sign of her obedience,
Her new-built virtue and obedience.
See where she comes and brings your froward wives
As prisoners to her womanly persuasion.
Re-enter Katharina, with Bianca and Widow
Katharina, that cap of yours becomes you not:
Off with that bauble, throw it under-foot.
Widow Lord, let me never have a cause to sigh,
Till I be brought to such a silly pass!
Bianca Fie! what a foolish duty call you this?
Lucentio I would your duty were as foolish too:
The wisdom of your duty, fair Bianca,
Hath cost me an hundred crowns since supper-time.
Bianca The more fool you, for laying on my duty.
Petruchio Katharina, I charge thee, tell these headstrong women
What duty they do owe their lords and husbands.
Widow Come, come, you’re mocking: we will have no telling.
Petruchio Come on, I say; and first begin with her.
Widow She shall not.
Petruchio I say she shall: and first begin with her.
Katharina Fie, fie! unknit that threatening unkind brow,
And dart not scornful glances from those eyes,
To wound thy lord, thy king, thy governor:
It blots thy beauty as frosts do bite the meads,
Confounds thy fame as whirlwinds shake fair buds,
And in no sense is meet or amiable.
A woman moved is like a fountain troubled,
Muddy, ill-seeming, thick, bereft of beauty;
And while it is so, none so dry or thirsty
Will deign to sip or touch one drop of it.
Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper,
Thy head, thy sovereign; one that cares for thee,
And for thy maintenance commits his body
To painful labour both by sea and land,
To watch the night in storms, the day in cold,
Whilst thou liest warm at home, secure and safe;
And craves no other tribute at thy hands
But love, fair looks and true obedience;
Too little payment for so great a debt.
Such duty as the subject owes the prince
Even such a woman oweth to her husband;
And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour,
And not obedient to his honest will,
What is she but a foul contending rebel
And graceless traitor to her loving lord?
I am ashamed that women are so simple
To offer war where they should kneel for peace;
Or seek for rule, supremacy and sway,
When they are bound to serve, love and obey.
Why are our bodies soft and weak and smooth,
Unapt to toil and trouble in the world,
But that our soft conditions and our hearts
Should well agree with our external parts?
Come, come, you froward and unable worms!
My mind hath been as big as one of yours,
My heart as great, my reason haply more,
To bandy word for word and frown for frown;
But now I see our lances are but straws,
Our strength as weak, our weakness past compare,
That seeming to be most which we indeed least are.
Then vail your stomachs, for it is no boot,
And place your hands below your husband’s foot:
In token of which duty, if he please,
My hand is ready; may it do him ease.
Petruchio Why, there’s a wench! Come on, and kiss me, Kate.
Lucentio Well, go thy ways, old lad; for thou shalt ha’t.
Vincentio ’Tis a good hearing when children are toward.
Lucentio But a harsh hearing when women are froward.
Petruchio Come, Kate, we’ll to bed.
We three are married, but you two are sped.
’Twas I won the wager, though you hit the white;
And, being a winner, God give you good night!
Exeunt Petruchio and Katharina
Hortensio Now, go thy ways; thou hast tamed a curst shrew.
Lucentio ’Tis a wonder, by your leave, she will be tamed so.
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