Five books of the lives, heroic deeds and sayings of Gargantua and his son Pantagruel

by

Francois Rabelais

Translated into English by
Sir Thomas Urquhart of Cromarty
and
Peter Antony Motteux

Illustrated by Gustave Doré

eBooks\@Adelaide
2007

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Table of Contents

Introduction.

THE FIRST BOOK.

  1. Of the Genealogy and Antiquity of Gargantua.
  2. The Antidoted Fanfreluches: or, a Galimatia of extravagant Conceits found in an ancient Monument.
  3. How Gargantua was carried eleven months in his mother’s belly.
  4. How Gargamelle, being great with Gargantua, did eat a huge deal of tripes.
  5. The Discourse of the Drinkers.
  6. How Gargantua was born in a strange manner.
  7. After what manner Gargantua had his name given him, and how he tippled, bibbed, and curried the can.
  8. How they apparelled Gargantua.
  9. The colours and liveries of Gargantua.
  10. Of that which is signified by the colours white and blue.
  11. Of the youthful age of Gargantua.
  12. Of Gargantua’s wooden horses.
  13. How Gargantua’s wonderful understanding became known to his father Grangousier, by the invention of a torchecul or wipebreech.
  14. How Gargantua was taught Latin by a Sophister.
  15. How Gargantua was put under other schoolmasters.
  16. How Gargantua was sent to Paris, and of the huge great mare that he rode on; how she destroyed the oxflies of the Beauce.
  17. How Gargantua paid his welcome to the Parisians, and how he took away the great bells of Our Lady’s Church.
  18. How Janotus de Bragmardo was sent to Gargantua to recover the great bells.
  19. The oration of Master Janotus de Bragmardo for recovery of the bells.
  20. How the Sophister carried away his cloth, and how he had a suit in law against the other masters.
  21. The study of Gargantua, according to the discipline of his schoolmasters the Sophisters.
  22. The games of Gargantua.
  23. How Gargantua was instructed by Ponocrates, and in such sort disciplinated, that he lost not one hour of the day.
  24. How Gargantua spent his time in rainy weather.
  25. How there was great strife and debate raised betwixt the cake-bakers of Lerne, and those of Gargantua’s country, whereupon were waged great wars.
  26. How the inhabitants of Lerne, by the commandment of Picrochole their king, assaulted the shepherds of Gargantua unexpectedly and on a sudden.
  27. How a monk of Seville saved the close of the abbey from being ransacked by the enemy.
  28. How Picrochole stormed and took by assault the rock Clermond, and of Grangousier’s unwillingness and aversion from the undertaking of war.
  29. The tenour of the letter which Grangousier wrote to his son Gargantua.
  30. How Ulric Gallet was sent unto Picrochole.
  31. The speech made by Gallet to Picrochole.
  32. How Grangousier, to buy peace, caused the cakes to be restored.
  33. How some statesmen of Picrochole, by hairbrained counsel, put him in extreme danger.
  34. How Gargantua left the city of Paris to succour his country, and how Gymnast encountered with the enemy.
  35. How Gymnast very souply and cunningly killed Captain Tripet and others of Picrochole’s men.
  36. How Gargantua demolished the castle at the ford of Vede, and how they passed the ford.
  37. How Gargantua, in combing his head, made the great cannon-balls fall out of his hair.
  38. How Gargantua did eat up six pilgrims in a salad.
  39. How the Monk was feasted by Gargantua, and of the jovial discourse they had at supper.
  40. Why monks are the outcasts of the world; and wherefore some have bigger noses than others.
  41. How the Monk made Gargantua sleep, and of his hours and breviaries.
  42. How the Monk encouraged his fellow-champions, and how he hanged upon a tree.
  43. How the scouts and fore-party of Picrochole were met with by Gargantua, and how the Monk slew Captain Drawforth (Tirevant.), and then was taken prisoner by his enemies.
  44. How the Monk rid himself of his keepers, and how Picrochole’s forlorn hope was defeated.
  45. How the Monk carried along with him the Pilgrims, and of the good words that Grangousier gave them.
  46. How Grangousier did very kindly entertain Touchfaucet his prisoner.
  47. How Grangousier sent for his legions, and how Touchfaucet slew Rashcalf, and was afterwards executed by the command of Picrochole.
  48. How Gargantua set upon Picrochole within the rock Clermond, and utterly defeated the army of the said Picrochole.
  49. How Picrochole in his flight fell into great misfortunes, and what Gargantua did after the battle.
  50. Gargantua’s speech to the vanquished.
  51. How the victorious Gargantuists were recompensed after the battle.
  52. How Gargantua caused to be built for the Monk the Abbey of Theleme.
  53. How the abbey of the Thelemites was built and endowed.
  54. The inscription set upon the great gate of Theleme.
  55. What manner of dwelling the Thelemites had.
  56. How the men and women of the religious order of Theleme were apparelled.
  57. How the Thelemites were governed, and of their manner of living.
  58. A prophetical Riddle.

THE SECOND BOOK.

  1. Of the original and antiquity of the great Pantagruel.
  2. Of the nativity of the most dread and redoubted Pantagruel.
  3. Of the grief wherewith Gargantua was moved at the decease of his wife Badebec.
  4. Of the infancy of Pantagruel.
  5. Of the acts of the noble Pantagruel in his youthful age.
  6. How Pantagruel met with a Limousin, who too affectedly did counterfeit the French language.
  7. How Pantagruel came to Paris, and of the choice books of the Library of St. Victor.
  8. How Pantagruel, being at Paris, received letters from his father Gargantua, and the copy of them.
  9. How Pantagruel found Panurge, whom he loved all his lifetime.
  10. How Pantagruel judged so equitably of a controversy, which was wonderfully obscure and difficult, that, by reason of his just decree therein, he was reputed to have a most admirable judgment.
  11. How the Lords of Kissbreech and Suckfist did plead before Pantagruel without an attorney.
  12. How the Lord of Suckfist pleaded before Pantagruel.
  13. How Pantagruel gave judgment upon the difference of the two lords.
  14. How Panurge related the manner how he escaped out of the hands of the Turks.
  15. How Panurge showed a very new way to build the walls of Paris.
  16. Of the qualities and conditions of Panurge.
  17. How Panurge gained the pardons, and married the old women, and of the suit in law which he had at Paris.
  18. How a great scholar of England would have argued against Pantagruel, and was overcome by Panurge.
  19. How Panurge put to a nonplus the Englishman that argued by signs.
  20. How Thaumast relateth the virtues and knowledge of Panurge.
  21. How Panurge was in love with a lady of Paris.
  22. How Panurge served a Parisian lady a trick that pleased her not very well.
  23. How Pantagruel departed from Paris, hearing news that the Dipsodes had invaded the land of the Amaurots; and the cause wherefore the leagues are so short in France.
  24. A letter which a messenger brought to Pantagruel from a lady of Paris, together with the exposition of a posy written in a gold ring.
  25. How Panurge, Carpalin, Eusthenes, and Epistemon, the gentlemen attendants of Pantagruel, vanquished and discomfited six hundred and threescore horsemen very cunningly.
  26. How Pantagruel and his company were weary in eating still salt meats; and how Carpalin went a-hunting to have some venison.
  27. How Pantagruel set up one trophy in memorial of their valour, and Panurge another in remembrance of the hares. How Pantagruel likewise with his farts begat little men, and with his fisgs little women; and how Panurge broke a great staff over two glasses.
  28. How Pantagruel got the victory very strangely over the Dipsodes and the Giants.
  29. How Pantagruel discomfited the three hundred giants armed with free-stone, and Loupgarou their captain.
  30. How Epistemon, who had his head cut off, was finely healed by Panurge, and of the news which he brought from the devils, and of the damned people in hell.
  31. How Pantagruel entered into the city of the Amaurots, and how Panurge married King Anarchus to an old lantern-carrying hag, and made him a crier of green sauce.
  32. How Pantagruel with his tongue covered a whole army, and what the author saw in his mouth.
  33. How Pantagruel became sick, and the manner how he was recovered.
  34. The conclusion of this present book, and the excuse of the author.

THE THIRD BOOK

  1. How Pantagruel transported a colony of Utopians into Dipsody.
  2. How Panurge was made Laird of Salmigondin in Dipsody, and did waste his revenue before it came in.
  3. How Panurge praiseth the debtors and borrowers.
  4. Panurge continueth his discourse in the praise of borrowers and lenders.
  5. How Pantagruel altogether abhorreth the debtors and borrowers.
  6. Why new married men were privileged from going to the wars.
  7. How Panurge had a flea in his ear, and forbore to wear any longer his magnificent codpiece.
  8. Why the codpiece is held to be the chief piece of armour amongst warriors.
  9. How Panurge asketh counsel of Pantagruel whether he should marry, yea, or no.
  10. How Pantagruel representeth unto Panurge the difficulty of giving advice in the matter of marriage; and to that purpose mentioneth somewhat of the Homeric and Virgilian lotteries.
  11. How Pantagruel showeth the trial of one’s fortune by the throwing of dice to be unlawful.
  12. How Pantagruel doth explore by the Virgilian lottery what fortune Panurge shall have in his marriage.
  13. How Pantagruel adviseth Panurge to try the future good or bad luck of his marriage by dreams.
  14. Panurge’s dream, with the interpretation thereof.
  15. Panurge’s excuse and exposition of the monastic mystery concerning powdered beef.
  16. How Pantagruel adviseth Panurge to consult with the Sibyl of Panzoust.
  17. How Panurge spoke to the Sibyl of Panzoust.
  18. How Pantagruel and Panurge did diversely expound the verses of the Sibyl of Panzoust.
  19. How Pantagruel praiseth the counsel of dumb men.
  20. How Goatsnose by signs maketh answer to Panurge.
  21. How Panurge consulteth with an old French poet, named Raminagrobis.
  22. How Panurge patrocinates and defendeth the Order of the Begging Friars.
  23. How Panurge maketh the motion of a return to Raminagrobis.
  24. How Panurge consulteth with Epistemon.
  25. How Panurge consulteth with Herr Trippa.
  26. How Panurge consulteth with Friar John of the Funnels.
  27. How Friar John merrily and sportingly counselleth Panurge.
  28. How Friar John comforteth Panurge in the doubtful matter of cuckoldry.
  29. How Pantagruel convocated together a theologian, physician, lawyer, and philosopher, for extricating Panurge out of the perplexity wherein he was.
  30. How the theologue, Hippothadee, giveth counsel to Panurge in the matter and business of his nuptial enterprise.
  31. How the physician Rondibilis counselleth Panurge.
  32. How Rondibilis declareth cuckoldry to be naturally one of the appendances of marriage.
  33. Rondibilis the physician’s cure of cuckoldry.
  34. How women ordinarily have the greatest longing after things prohibited.
  35. How the philosopher Trouillogan handleth the difficulty of marriage.
  36. A continuation of the answer of the Ephectic and Pyrrhonian philosopher Trouillogan.
  37. How Pantagruel persuaded Panurge to take counsel of a fool.
  38. How Triboulet is set forth and blazed by Pantagruel and Panurge.
  39. How Pantagruel was present at the trial of Judge Bridlegoose, who decided causes and controversies in law by the chance and fortune of the dice.
  40. How Bridlegoose giveth reasons why he looked upon those law-actions which he decided by the chance of the dice.
  41. How Bridlegoose relateth the history of the reconcilers of parties at variance in matters of law.
  42. How suits at law are bred at first, and how they come afterwards to their perfect growth.
  43. How Pantagruel excuseth Bridlegoose in the matter of sentencing actions at law by the chance of the dice.
  44. How Pantagruel relateth a strange history of the perplexity of human judgment.
  45. How Panurge taketh advice of Triboulet.
  46. How Pantagruel and Panurge diversely interpret the words of Triboulet.
  47. How Pantagruel and Panurge resolved to make a visit to the oracle of the holy bottle.
  48. How Gargantua showeth that the children ought not to marry without the special knowledge and advice of their fathers and mothers.
  49. How Pantagruel did put himself in a readiness to go to sea; and of the herb named Pantagruelion.
  50. How the famous Pantagruelion ought to be prepared and wrought.
  51. Why it is called Pantagruelion, and of the admirable virtues thereof.
  52. How a certain kind of Pantagruelion is of that nature that the fire is not able to consume it.

THE FOURTH BOOK

  1. How Pantagruel went to sea to visit the oracle of Bacbuc, alias the Holy Bottle.
  2. How Pantagruel bought many rarities in the island of Medamothy.
  3. How Pantagruel received a letter from his father Gargantua, and of the strange way to have speedy news from far distant places.
  4. How Pantagruel writ to his father Gargantua, and sent him several curiosities.
  5. How Pantagruel met a ship with passengers returning from Lanternland.
  6. How, the fray being over, Panurge cheapened one of Dingdong’s sheep.
  7. Which if you read you’ll find how Panurge bargained with Dingdong.
  8. How Panurge caused Dingdong and his sheep to be drowned in the sea.
  9. How Pantagruel arrived at the island of Ennasin, and of the strange ways of being akin in that country.
  10. How Pantagruel went ashore at the island of Chely, where he saw King St. Panigon.
  11. Why monks love to be in kitchens.
  12. How Pantagruel passed by the land of Pettifogging, and of the strange way of living among the Catchpoles.
  13. How, like Master Francis Villon, the Lord of Basche commended his servants.
  14. A further account of catchpoles who were drubbed at Basche’s house.
  15. How the ancient custom at nuptials is renewed by the catchpole.
  16. How Friar John made trial of the nature of the catchpoles.
  17. How Pantagruel came to the islands of Tohu and Bohu; and of the strange death of Wide-nostrils, the swallower of windmills.
  18. How Pantagruel met with a great storm at sea.
  19. What countenances Panurge and Friar John kept during the storm.
  20. How the pilots were forsaking their ships in the greatest stress of weather.
  21. A continuation of the storm, with a short discourse on the subject of making testaments at sea.
  22. An end of the storm.
  23. How Panurge played the good fellow when the storm was over.
  24. How Panurge was said to have been afraid without reason during the storm.
  25. How, after the storm, Pantagruel went on shore in the islands of the Macreons.
  26. How the good Macrobius gave us an account of the mansion and decease of the heroes.
  27. Pantagruel’s discourse of the decease of heroic souls; and of the dreadful prodigies that happened before the death of the late Lord de Langey.
  28. How Pantagruel related a very sad story of the death of the heroes.
  29. How Pantagruel sailed by the Sneaking Island, where Shrovetide reigned.
  30. How Shrovetide is anatomized and described by Xenomanes.
  31. Shrovetide’s outward parts anatomized.
  32. A continuation of Shrovetide’s countenance.
  33. How Pantagruel discovered a monstrous physeter, or whirlpool, near the Wild Island.
  34. How the monstrous physeter was slain by Pantagruel.
  35. How Pantagruel went on shore in the Wild Island, the ancient abode of the Chitterlings.
  36. How the wild Chitterlings laid an ambuscado for Pantagruel.
  37. How Pantagruel sent for Colonel Maul-chitterling and Colonel Cut-pudding; with a discourse well worth your hearing about the names of places and persons.
  38. How Chitterlings are not to be slighted by men.
  39. How Friar John joined with the cooks to fight the Chitterlings.
  40. How Friar John fitted up the sow; and of the valiant cooks that went into it.
  41. How Pantagruel broke the Chitterlings at the knees.
  42. How Pantagruel held a treaty with Niphleseth, Queen of the Chitterlings.
  43. How Pantagruel went into the island of Ruach.
  44. How small rain lays a high wind.
  45. How Pantagruel went ashore in the island of Pope-Figland.
  46. How a junior devil was fooled by a husbandman of Pope-Figland.
  47. How the devil was deceived by an old woman of Pope-Figland.
  48. How Pantagruel went ashore at the island of Papimany.
  49. How Homenas, Bishop of Papimany, showed us the Uranopet decretals.
  50. How Homenas showed us the archetype, or representation of a pope.
  51. Table-talk in praise of the decretals.
  52. A continuation of the miracles caused by the decretals.
  53. How by the virtue of the decretals, gold is subtilely drawn out of France to Rome.
  54. How Homenas gave Pantagruel some bon-Christian pears.
  55. How Pantagruel, being at sea, heard various unfrozen words.
  56. How among the frozen words Pantagruel found some odd ones.
  57. How Pantagruel went ashore at the dwelling of Gaster, the first master of arts in the world.
  58. How, at the court of the master of ingenuity, Pantagruel detested the Engastrimythes and the Gastrolaters.
  59. Of the ridiculous statue Manduce; and how and what the Gastrolaters sacrifice to their ventripotent god.
  60. What the Gastrolaters sacrificed to their god on interlarded fish-days.
  61. How Gaster invented means to get and preserve corn.
  62. How Gaster invented an art to avoid being hurt or touched by cannon-balls.
  63. How Pantagruel fell asleep near the island of Chaneph, and of the problems proposed to be solved when he waked.
  64. How Pantagruel gave no answer to the problems.
  65. How Pantagruel passed the time with his servants.
  66. How, by Pantagruel’s order, the Muses were saluted near the isle of Ganabim.
  67. How Panurge berayed himself for fear; and of the huge cat Rodilardus, which he took for a puny devil.

THE FIFTH BOOK

  1. How Pantagruel arrived at the Ringing Island, and of the noise that we heard.
  2. How the Ringing Island had been inhabited by the Siticines, who were become birds.
  3. How there is but one pope-hawk in the Ringing Island.
  4. How the birds of the Ringing Island were all passengers.
  5. Of the dumb Knight-hawks of the Ringing Island.
  6. How the birds are crammed in the Ringing Island.
  7. How Panurge related to Master Aedituus the fable of the horse and the ass.
  8. How with much ado we got a sight of the pope-hawk.
  9. How we arrived at the island of Tools.
  10. How Pantagruel arrived at the island of Sharping.
  11. How we passed through the wicket inhabited by Gripe-men-all, Archduke of the Furred Law-cats.
  12. How Gripe-men-all propounded a riddle to us.
  13. How Panurge solved Gripe-men-all’s riddle.
  14. How the Furred Law-cats live on corruption.
  15. How Friar John talks of rooting out the Furred Law-cats.
  16. How Pantagruel came to the island of the Apedefers, or Ignoramuses, with long claws and crooked paws, and of terrible adventures and monsters there.
  17. How we went forwards, and how Panurge had like to have been killed.
  18. How our ships were stranded, and we were relieved by some people that were subject to Queen Whims (qui tenoient de la Quinte).
  19. How we arrived at the queendom of Whims or Entelechy.
  20. How the Quintessence cured the sick with a song.
  21. How the Queen passed her time after dinner.
  22. How Queen Whims’ officers were employed; and how the said lady retained us among her abstractors.
  23. How the Queen was served at dinner, and of her way of eating.
  24. How there was a ball in the manner of a tournament, at which Queen Whims was present.
  25. How the thirty-two persons at the ball fought.
  26. How we came to the island of Odes, where the ways go up and down.
  27. How we came to the island of Sandals; and of the order of Semiquaver Friars.
  28. How Panurge asked a Semiquaver Friar many questions, and was only answered in monosyllables.
  29. How Epistemon disliked the institution of Lent.
  30. How we came to the land of Satin.
  31. How in the land of Satin we saw Hearsay, who kept a school of vouching.
  32. How we came in sight of Lantern-land.
  33. How we landed at the port of the Lychnobii, and came to Lantern-land.
  34. How we arrived at the Oracle of the Bottle.
  35. How we went underground to come to the Temple of the Holy Bottle, and how Chinon is the oldest city in the world.
  36. How we went down the tetradic steps, and of Panurge’s fear.
  37. How the temple gates in a wonderful manner opened of themselves.
  38. Of the Temple’s admirable pavement.
  39. How we saw Bacchus’s army drawn up in battalia in mosaic work.
  40. How the battle in which the good Bacchus overthrew the Indians was represented in mosaic work.
  41. How the temple was illuminated with a wonderful lamp.
  42. How the Priestess Bacbuc showed us a fantastic fountain in the temple, and how the fountain-water had the taste of wine, according to the imagination of those who drank of it.
  43. How the Priestess Bacbuc equipped Panurge in order to have the word of the Bottle.
  44. How Bacbuc, the high-priestess, brought Panurge before the Holy Bottle.
  45. How Bacbuc explained the word of the Goddess-Bottle.
  46. How Panurge and the rest rhymed with poetic fury.
  47. How we took our leave of Bacbuc, and left the Oracle of the Holy Bottle.

Illustrations by Gustave Dore

The text of the first Two Books of Rabelais has been reprinted from the first edition (1653) of Urquhart’s translation. Footnotes initialled ‘M.’ are drawn from the Maitland Club edition (1838); other footnotes are by the translator. Urquhart’s translation of Book III. appeared posthumously in 1693, with a new edition of Books I. and II., under Motteux’s editorship. Motteux’s rendering of Books IV. and V. followed in 1708. Occasionally (as the footnotes indicate) passages omitted by Motteux have been restored from the 1738 copy edited by Ozell.

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